At the end of this post, I’m going to tell you that Babeland, the incredibly kickass and female-friendly sex toy company, is helping me live my sexiest life in 2011 by sponsoring 7 items on my Life List.
Hey, look at that, I guess I was too excited to wait until the end of the post to tell you about it. OH WELL, OOPSIE.
This delicious sponsorship announcement means two things: one, that I’ve reached the point where I should probably make my vagina its own business cards, and two, that I’ll be able to share a lot more of the sex wealth with all of you lovely people who totally deserve it because you’re screwed up enough to have taken a liking to me and my frequent tangents off into the land of the vagina monoblogs in the first place.
(Ha, and your momma warned you that the internet was only full of bad things!)
The first Life List item that Babeland is helping me check off is number 66, “give twenty ‘just because’ gifts to twenty different people in the same week,” which means that yes, twenty of you will unsuspectingly receive a hot pink Orchid G vibrator in the mail later this month.
I know right?!
I’ve already picked the first 19 people – all bloggers, all awesome, all sexy, and all completely deserving of an increase in orgasms – but the 20th gift is still up for grabs. Want it? Let me know! Want me to review and give away something else in the next few months? Search through Babeland’s list of the top 25 items of 2010 (all 25% off right now!) and give me a shout about that too. My vagina is here to please you. Except, wait, not like that. That’s not included in the sponsorship agreement. I don’t think. Shit, I never read the fine print. BUT DID I MENTION THAT MY VAGINA BASICALLY HAS ITS OWN ENDORSEMENT?!
::dies::
(Yes, all of the Babeland links on my site are affiliate links. Yes, I get money when you buy your orgasms through this blog. Yes, I’m getting things for free because of this sponsorship, and so are my readers. Relax, FEC.)
Posted in: babeland sponsorship, big giant life list, the vagina monoblogs
{ 71 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh damn, I kinda want this! My bf and I were in Good Vibrations the other day checking out toys to replace my two-year-old Fun Factory device, but they were all so pricey. I forgot that I dropped a C note on the last one. Help a va-jay-jay out
As for the review/giveaway, the “Sqweel” looks interesting!
It makes me happy that your vagina is happy and it wants to make the vaginas of women everywhere happy too.
Happy vagina hugs to all! And to all a good night.
A people-pleasing vagina with an endorsement? YOU WIN.
I would like to apply to be lucky number 20. Thank you.
You do not need to confirm or deny if I am one of the lucky 19 recipients but all I’m saying is that if I am, I really hope it arrives in innocuous-looking packaging because I AM AWFUL AND STILL LIVE WITH MY PARENTS. And if I am not one of the 19 then I should be number 20 because the only man on my life this year has been Bongo Jordy and we are all aware of how that went.
I was surprised that Babeland passed thru the work filter…
Or maybe they just turned it off today, so I could browse. I can’t pick. There are so many. 
HALP!
I think your vagina needs its own manager. And maybe publicist, too. It’s become too big for the Internet.
I’ve been without sex for around 9 months and have made a decision not to do anything “unclassy” with my vajayjay anymore which means things could get desperate pretty fast.
A hot pink vibrator would make this journey just a little easier.
Hooray! My work hasn’t blocked your website! (They are surprisingly lenient about sites that may or may not be about sex, but they don’t let me watch any Youtube videos. Go figure.)
Anyways, I would LOVE a new vibrator just because! I feel a girl can never have too many, and the cord on one of my other ones (WHHHYYYY have a cord?!) had an unfortunate meeting with one of my kitties about two weeks after I bought it. Oops.
I want this! Crossing my fingers that it winds up on my
door stop.
Oooooh I’m so crossing my fingers and toes that I get this through my door!!!!
Crossing my fingers, toes, knees, eyes….but not my legs!
Although if I could cross my knees without crossing my legs, I might be a mutant without a vagina, this not in need of this Orchid thingie.
Thus. Jesus.
Moar orgasms plzzzz
You are the funniest of the interwebs
i just realized i don’t think i even knew i had a g-spot.
help. PLEEZE.
I want it!
For many reasons, but I never win anything, and if I win I think it would be so awesome to say “I never win anything. Except for that one time I won a viborator from the internet”.
haha
The wee-vibe, please. I really really want to know if this
causes any kind of um….uncomfortable situations for either party
while in use. Cause good lord would it be a happy party if that
things works
Vibrator you say? That’ll bring me out for a first comment.
I recently left my husband for various reasons that can be summed
up by saying, he was a douche, only to discover that the majority
of the dating pool are also, in fact, douches. I need a vibrator.
And some vodka.
Since your vagina is here to please me, mine is ready to
accept your vagina’s gift of a new vibrator. It’s just so hard to
get things done the way I want them, it would surely help!
Did your vagina just die? Bring on the resuscitation jokes.
Pick me for number 20!!!!! Can’t wait for more
reviews!
Please please please review and give away the WeVibe!!!
I can totally be sexy and awesome. Plus? Not above writing a totally embarassing and gratuitous post about the awesome sexiness.
FURTHER?! I will make sure the puppy doesn’t get hold of it. Because THAT would be a tragedy.
I want!!
If I’m chosen to win, I’d like to pass mine on to a more…practical….recipient. Also, your commenters delight me.
Me! Me! Me! Pick me!
ooohhh.
i want. never tried a vibrator before (does that make me a total weirdo?)… i’d write a killer review…
I’m sure my PR degree will be able to assist your vagina in any way possible. And the event coordinating that I plan on doing can do orgasmic parties I’m sure.
Hope the 20 people are pleased with your ‘just because’ gifts and good luck with the rest of your life list
Oh oh OH!! I need a new vibrator!!!!
Umm, newly single. In need of vibrations for my vagina. That is all.
-FD
Aw! I want one toooooooooo!
i love this, and you and basically the ridiculousness of your entire life. is come to jersey and have a sleepover with rachel and her adorable puppy on that life list? it should be because i really miss your face like whoa. <3
Also, you should review and give away (to my vagina preferably) the We-Vibe II because I’ve been wanting to hear more about it/try it!
Happy vibing!
I agree. Except maybe you should give it away to my vagina too
We-Vibe! We-Vibe! We-Vibe!
OBVIOUSLY WANT.
Or you could just come visit me. Either/or. SPONSOR THAT BABELAND.
I routinely like to switch up the sex toys because I get bored with one after awhile, so… yes please.
Also yay for getting sponsored!
Ooh hot pink. Speaking of just because-es I totally laid in bed ALL of new year’s day hungover and subsequently read a year and a half worth of posts on your blog, laughing my ass off. So…yeah, actually writing it just sounds creepy since I’m so informed on your internet life now, although it totally was not.
Maybe, just because, you will feel inclined to give me other things to do in bed with that cute pink vibrator
I couldn’t agree more with Arielle. I *GASP* live at home and the one male figure that may or may not be in my life right now is SEVEN THOUSAND MILES AWAY. And his gorgeous ex is hitting on him. Fuck… or more appropriately, not fuck.
You should make business cards for your vagina, and if you do, you could bill her services and write them off for shatterboxx’s advertising budget! Then you could be like BAM! Take that, white house!
My husband gets on a plane for a year in Afghanistan in 13
days. A YEAR. I will not have sex for a YEAR. I’m pretty sure that
should earn me a free vibrator. Really, I think it should be one of
our military benefits. Free health care, great retirement plan and
a free vibrator to all the wives left behind. But, alas, it’s not.
So, umm, consider it doing your part to support the
troops!
This just prompted me to reread your life list and try to guess which seven things were being sponsored. I really have no idea. But I did figure out that we should find two other bloggers and go camping in Yosemite and knock out two birds with one stone. Mostly because Yosemite is my actual favorite.
Also, I need to exchange season one for season four because Hulu Plus still makes me watch commercials which is a really stupid service for which to have to pay and I am now addicted. AND Hulu doesn’t have Private Practice. So lame.
Finally, you should send me sex toys because this morning my boyfriend pointed out that it’s not really fair to say he’s not sexually attracted to me, because it’s not like he’s sexually attracted to strippers so it would be more fair to say he’s just not sexually attracted in a more general sense and didn’t understand why that didn’t make me feel better.
Listening to the Today Show segment of the homeless man with the magical radio voice in the background while reading this post. Now I think your vajay speaks with an extra smooth baritone. Also? I’m “celebrating” 6 months of unintentional celibacy this month. That was meant as transitional statement and I don’t think it quite made it.
me me me me meeee!
I WANT IT! well actually, my girlfriend wants it. but its
my responsibility to make sure she’s happy so…
please?
Your vagina should definitely have its own business cards.
Mine needs dusted off. The sads keep me from being in the mood
though. Ahh the joys of single motherhood! My question is Vegas?
I’ve been waiting for a happy announcement!!!
I’d love to win!
You need to review the “Sqweel”!
Vaginas need presents too! I’ve always said so.
All I’m going to say about that is that I wouldn’t mind being number 20. Well, that and that I always enjoy the different, ahem, product reviews.
Just a note for the few people who have asked for reviews of the Sqweel (what a wretched name, *sigh*) — I impulsively bought one last week, because I happened to be at Babeland, and it was on sale, and, well, these things happen. Anyway — it’s bigger than it looks online. It’s a bit noisier than one would prefer. And it has that awful new silicon smell that so far has not diminished even though I’ve washed it a few times. However, all of that said — if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like high-intensity vibration in your vibrators, you prefer the build-up to just a quick jackhammer orgasm, and you take the time to figure out the correct angles and indirectness…it’s a pretty lovely little ride, really. I don’t think I would have found it worth the full price (I mean, it’s no Lelo Nea), but for 25% off, it was a fine impulsive purchase. (Though for all the people who reviewed it and said it was small and compact and perfect for use during partnersex? I’m not sure how, exactly, they generally have sex…but I think it would be incredibly awkward, because at the wrong angle, this toy is not fun. But then, I’m a delicate little flower. *ahem*)
I’m throwing my hat in the ring to be #20. Been single for
longer than I care to admit, and my vagina could use a little
excitement!
Ok, I was interested in hearing about the Sqweel, I guess I
still am, the more reviews the better, before I moved my gf’s and I
would always talk and play with each others sex toys (not like
that), but now, I don’t have that so I rely on you! Anyway, I would
love the fancy pants orchid G vibrator. YUM!
Who *doesn’t* want to have a vibrator delivered to their door?!
That is so awesome. Congratulations on the sponsorship!
I definitely want a free vibrator. I’m not picky about what kind.
But from that top 25 list, the Butterfly Kiss looks awesome…
Also, I’ve always been intrigued by the Moregasm book, it’s been on my to-buy list for a while and I just haven’t gotten around to it. So if there’s ever a way you could get me a free one of those THAT would be ultimately awesome. And I promise if I ever get around to buying it I will definitely do so through your affiliate link.
whatever your vagina is doing, it must be doing it right, so uh, keep up the good work!
Ok, I know there are a ton of other worthy people trying to be number 20. Clearly, tons of comments.
However, I would like to propose you pick me to be number 20 for the following reason:
My personal New Year’s resolution is to have an orgasm every single possible calendar day. I’d love the opportunity to please my vagina, while reaping the benefits of your sponsored vagina benefits. Um, that didn’t quite sound right, BUT, that is really my new year’s resolution. So, can you help me out?
Unsuspecting? As in, the 19 people have no idea it’s coming?
I love you even more for that.
SAN FRAN MARCH WHAT!!!!!
my.vagina.needs.that
Oh sweet, SWEET Jesus.
Here’s the big question: What are the other 6 items!??!
I would love to be #20!!!
Is this kind of like The Bloggess thing, where you offer to
give away 20 vibrators and people come forward who need vibrators
and then people come forward to offer additional vibrators to suit
the overwhelming need of people who need them? Just imagine where
we can take this!! I’d like to come forward and offer a 21st
vibrator. It’s been used (well loved)…a lot…I hope that’s
okay.
Oh fuck yeah. Please enter me to be #20 (or as I said it in my head: please enter me, so I can be entered, if ya know what I mean….)
I was about to get in on this giveaway, but then I saw all these comments from celibate people who need it way more than I do. I had sex during my lunch hour yesterday. That’s right, I sure did. And I showed up to a meeting right after.
So, I vote to give it to the chick whose husband is about to go to Afghanistan OR the chick who’s never tried a vibrator. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
I want it! I want it! I want it!
MY VAGINA WANTS A SPONSORSHIP.
What if our vaginas took over the world? It could happen.
What if I’m still a little drunk from last night…uh oh…
I…… WANT IT. Also, I’d like for you to review the
Jaguar Harness. Not because I want it, but because I feel that you
would actually put the thing on and give it an honest try. And
this, I feel, would be very funny for me and probably some kind of
learning experience for you. And your unwitting partner.
Wait, am I too late? Shit. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING BEHIND ON BLOGS.
If I’m not too late: WANT WANT WANT. I’ll say WANT a few more times, if that will help.
I think your vagina could probably rule the world. It would be a benevolent ruler, and – I can only assume – quite a lot of fun.
Your vagina is more popular than me, that is why you are my
girl crush.
Wait! Did I miss the deadline? Is there a deadline? I want it!
Hmmmm. The pink rabbit looks interesting….and ashamedly, I am an-almost-30-vibrator-virgin.
Help me try a vibrator before I turn 30
I really should add that to my lifelist.
I’m marrying a military man. I don not own a single vibrator. I *need* this. lol