Comments on: sky mall catalogs, things i’m willing to mail you that might save your life, and a new use for blowup sex dolls that will totally come in handy if a) you have a trader joe’s bag full of blowup sex dolls and b) you are terrified of wasps

By: Bodaciousboomer

Bodaciousboomer — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 02:45:10 +0000

Finally a site where I feel like I fit in. Finally.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:12:31 +0000

Dude, I love you, really, I do, because you are perfectly splendid and hilarious…HOWEVER….fuck you for the spider vagina bit. I looked that shit up on Google because…how could I not when you lured it over me like that (insert mental image of a carrot on a string). Google knows NOTHING of spider vaginas…but it does apparently know of a girl trying to get a spider OUT OF HER VAGINA…and it knows A LOT about really gross human vaginas that should under no circumstances become publicly available. Thank you for fucking my life.

By: apocalypstick

apocalypstick — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 06:08:54 +0000

What. Nicole…what?

In all fairness, maybe I shouldn’t read your blog drunk. While listening to “I Want It That Way.” There’s just too many distractions.

By: Belize

Belize — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 17:20:33 +0000

First of all, please don’t enter me in the contest. I can’t imagine what I’d do with a skymall catalog. haha but seriously, no entry.

Now then, one word: HAIRSPRAY. The cheaper, the better. I’m talking the 5 gallon vat of Aquanet here, people. The beauty of this is two-fold: 1.) you can maim from a distance and 2.) by “maim” I mean the stickiness of the hairspray coats the wings/legs/whatever and renders them immobile. Then you just smash them with whatever’s handy and voila!

It’s a handy trick to know when you’re allergic to bees/wasps/etc., and live on your own with no “Waspssassin” (feel free to steal that! ha!)

By: Sintimate

Sintimate — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:07:49 +0000

I’m sorry, I was really enjoying your blog post when I read, “We stopped to evaluate” as “We stopped to ovulate.” And I thought to myself, “Wow, really? How did they know?”

Fail.

Will try again later after this cup of coffee is gone.

By: E.P.

E.P. — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 00:14:02 +0000

When I lived by myself, I had issues with any type of critter that would get into my apartment. I would call the landlord. I would call friends. I would call ANYONE to deal with it, but I wouldn’t send my dog in to deal with the pest because I read a horrible PostSecret about how someone let their dog kill a spider and it was a poisonous spider and the bite ended up killing the dog. Gah.

Yeah, so it’s nice living with my fiance. He gets to do all the dirty work. And I get to cower and scream whenever a bug gets into our apartment…

By: Dani

Dani — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:31:27 +0000

I do not want to be entered in this giveaway as I have 3 cats, one husband and now a dog to kill bugs. If a bug can get through all of them, NOTHING is killing it.

However, I cannot believe you didn’t know that spiders laid eggs. I thought everyone had heard some version of the urban legend with the girl with a spider bite on her forehead that gets bigger and bigger until one day as she was brushing her hair, she hit it and millions of spider babies burst out and all across her face.

I shudder.

By: Angela

Angela — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 05:27:03 +0000

If there’s a spider vagina, there’s a spider penis. This means one thing: NINE LEGS! NINE. FREAKING. LEGS. I will move to the moon.

By: aka the queen

aka the queen — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 07:49:20 +0000

This reminds me of when I first moved in with my husband. and one morning (at 5am no less) I found a spider in the shower. When I couldn’t wake him up, I proceeded to throw wadded up tissues at the spider for half an hour. When he finally got out of bed to find out what was going on, he almost died of laughter at all the tissues on the floor.

It’s a miracle he married me.

Now we have a cat. And the cat and I have a deal. I will feed her as long as she kills the spiders.

By: HTG

HTG — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 20:06:26 +0000

I just have to say that I am the same person in the getting-rid-of-bugs roommate relationship, and the first night that my roommate learned this was when a terrible, scary, probably lethal and definitely many-legged creature crawled into my room. After seeing my panic, she sprung into action and DUST BUSTERED IT. Almost as awesome as beating it to death with a pair of shoes. (What did you do with the wasp’s body??)