Sometimes the internet makes me want to crawl into a sad cocoon and wallow in my self-doubt until nature does its thing and turns me into an absurdly creative/successful/wealthy/zen butterfly who also has stupidly sexy hair, the best-ever recipe for caramel apple donuts, and the secret to world peace.
REALISTIC GOALS, I HAZ THEM.
It’s not the internet’s fault, of course, but being two clicks away from All of The People doing All of The (Amazing) Things can go one of two ways. Either it’s a powerful motivator to launch your own amazing ideas, or it’s a war-ravaged dream killer. Nothing in between.
Lately, it’s been a dream killer. I’ve been doubting myself a lot, in pretty much every area of life that someone can doubt themselves (and even those you probably haven’t tried yet, unless you too have experienced the unusual sadness of not having pretty handwriting), and I’m honestly just exhausted from it all.
I’m exhausted from wishing I were better, prettier, faster, happier, more successful, more well-known, more relaxed, more passionate, more artistic, more everything. Because, let me tell you, feeling badly about yourself uses a lot of fucking energy. Living your life while constantly second guessing your life and reevaluating your life and picturing your life as someone else’s life takes so much stamina, I’m surprised I even have time left to bathe. Seriously though, how the eff do insanely successful people have time to eat and shower?!
The most frustrating part about feeling this way is that even as I’m submerged in the deepest of it, I know that it’s just a phase. It’s a phase, and it won’t last, which I know because I’ve been here plenty of times before, and it always passes. So, even though part of me is all, “WAAAHHHHH EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD. MUST MOVE TO AUSTRALIA,” another part of me is all, “Dude, you’re FINE. You’re going to feel better in like a fucking day. Chill out, and stop comparing your life to everyone else’s life.” Which, hi, THERAPY.
I have to believe, though, that feeling like this and getting sucked down the occasional dirty rabbit hole of extreme jealousy is just a natural part of being a human who lives in a world with other humans. I also think, annoyingly enough, that we feel this way when we’re tip-toeing around the edges of doing something scary. It’s almost a test of how serious we are about taking the leap from our comfortable, well-worn lives and flinging ourselves toward what’s next.
For me, what’s next is the upcoming food blog and the 100 Lunches Project, both of which I’m belligerently excited about, but with that kind of excitement comes a lot of fear. What if people don’t respond well? What if I’m in over my head? What if there’s always someone out there who’s doing exactly what I want to do – but better? What if, what if, what if.
At the heart of it all, I think these kinds of self doubt-ey feelings come down to one single question: What do you want to be known for? Because once you can answer that, you can bust out of your sad cocoon and charge ahead toward whatever that thing is without looking back.
In the meantime, though, I think the answer is that you have to be nice to yourself. No pressure, no expectations, just stop being such an asshole to yourself and things will instantly improve. It’s easy to do nice things for someone you love when they’re feeling down, but yet it’s so much harder to do the same for yourself. Why is that? Why do we always seem to be standing in our own way when we should really be our biggest personal cheerleaders?
I don’t know the answers, but I do know that you (yes, YOU!) should do something nice for yourself, and soon. Need a little coaxing? Here, why don’t we do this. You tell me what nice thing you’re going to do for yourself, and as part of free-shit-September, I’ll send one of you a $25 Visa giftcard with which to do it.
Side benefit: if everyone shares the nice things they’d like to do for themselves, we can all get some new self-love ideas for the next time we’re stuck in a sad cocoon. Less sad cocoon, more badass butterfly. NEW PLAN.
Posted in: a life less bullshit, hey look, i have feelings!, reviews & free shit
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YES. I have felt this way all month too, and no amount of extra sleep, exercise or friend time is making it go away. I got a haircut a few weeks ago though, so I guess I can tell myself I have pretty hair.
I’m going to buy myself a coffeemaker (my first ever). No more instant.
This was a good injection of anti-stress… Which made me just think of sharing anti-stress injection needles. Hopefully you’re cool with that. Because I’m double dipping.
You have pretty much summed up how I’ve been feeling – on and off, in phases – for the past few years. Yes – years. It IS exhausting, and depressing, and sometimes I long for the pre-internet days when the wildly successful and inspirational were people who had been blessed with some mysterious and beautiful gift.
The internet delivers person after normal person after ordinary person who is doing what I want to be doing, but so much better. And with more talent. And beauty. And youth.
I think I may have reached saturation point, though…and am finally ready to just be me. And try to stop comparing myself. Maybe.
Turning off the internet on a regular basis helps. As does just getting out there and doing my thing.
(ps I’m in Australia and want to be anywhere else. Green grass and all that!)
I hereby vow to buy a[nother] gigantic man flannel for myself. They might not do much for my figure, but OH MY GOD, they do wonders for my soul.
I’m going to let go of who everyone thought I was and embrace who I want to become. Yay for self-improvement!
I am going to get a membership to a yoga studio
I work an insane amount of hours – work from home, self employed, the whole bit. I’ve scheduled two 15 minute recesses every day – just like I was back in school. I even have an alarm bell set to go off at the beginning and the end. Those 15 minutes are 15 minutes away from the computer – either playing on the wii, or sitting out on the deck enjoying the sunshine.
I’m going to act like a grown up for a change and get my hair cut instead of throwing it in a pony tail day after day.
It’s a hard thing to figure out – how to pursue your own success without comparing yourself to everyone else.
Solution to the eating and shower problem: eat IN the shower. You’re welcome.
Also, this has totally been me recently too. Crazy doubt that I put in my way. But hey, you’re right. It’s a phase. We’ll both figure it out soon, I’m sure. As for your projects, I know I’m wildly excited about your food blog, so that’s somebody (and I know I’m not the only one from all of those comments on that post), and you happen to do things in a uniquely awesome way, so I really don’t think you have to worry about it flopping. Good luck!
The nice thing I’m going to do for myself – I’m going to buy some pairs of colored tights. Because no one NEEDS colored tights, but it’s fall, and I’ve been drooling over Pinterest and godamnit that would make my day just a little bit better.
Oh god, the handwriting thing? If I admitted how often in my life I have thought about that…you would probably punch me in the face. (I would probably punch me in the face, for that matter.) I am going to buy some nice pillows for my man-friend’s bed, because I love sleeping in his bed…but man, does he have a different notion of what a pillow should be than I do. This is a situation that requires rectifying.
I totally agree about the handwriting thing. Also, a great idea about the pillows. I may have to do the same!
I just got a brand new job and am throwing myself into playing hockey, so I’ve just pulled myself out of any sadness I may have had while I was ~unemployed~.
But to keep me happy: enjoy fall, get out and notice rainbow of leaves, drink cider, eat pumpkin things!
Oh my gosh I have been feeling super low lately for no real reason at all, totally feel you on how draining it is. Next month is my birthday and I’m taking the day off work and am going to treat myself to some awesome things like a bikram yoga class with my favorite teacher, a makeover at Sephora, probably a cupcake (or 2) and…who knows what else.
right now, being kind to myself means giving myself permission to be silent and to walk away.
You’ve pretty much summed up at least 2 phases a year for the past 5 years of my life. “Living your life while constantly second guessing your life and reevaluating your life and picturing your life as someone elses life takes so much stamina…” When I do this, not only am I completely, totally exhausted, I end up more confused than when I started.
My solution? A mani/pedi. Because pretty toes make everything better.
I think the nicest thing I can do for myself right now is move out of the place I’m sharing with my boyfriend of over 2 years (I sort of already have- staying with friends) and get my own apt. And then, refrain from hating myself and thinking I’m damaged because nothing ever seems to work out for me.
Aren’t you glad you asked?
I hope you are kind to yourself too. xo
I think it’s ironic (based on my working knowledge of the word ironic) that I am reading this on your blog because you are one of the people I always compare my life to because I think you are amazing. I get irrationally sad that we don’t live close enough to be BFFs. (Assuming, of course, that I would be cool enough to be one of your BFFs if it weren’t for the geographical factor. Ah, well.)
Also: things I need to do for myself include: sending another pair of shoes to Katherine to get glittered, buying some frivolous ingredients so I can start baking again, maybe go try one of the new restaurants in the area. Or buy like fifty yogurts while they’re on sale. I don’t know.
ah yes this. i think i feel it the most with blogging. i get torn in so many different directions of the kind of blogger i want to become and it’s always like, “why can’t i write more like x and still be as funny as y and and also be as wonderful as z???!?!?!?!?” (and not to be like totally creepy or anything but, like, you often fall in to either x, y, or z for me. just saying.) er, ANYWAY. whenever i find myself in the company of sad panda, i just remind myself that what i really need to do *is* write more like me be as funny as me and also stay wonderful because i am. essentially: be me. i know that’s what always makes me happiest. i just have a hard time remembering it.
as for the nice thing i am going to do for myself? i am NOTORIOUS for complaining about things but then not making a real effort to change them. well, i always complain about how i never REALLY celebrate my favorite month of the year so i’ve decided to commit to doing one halloween/fall related activity every day in october. uh oh.
I just spent an hour shopping for clothes and managed to not talk myself out of every single item because I’m too fat, too short, or too boring. I managed to come out of there with over $200 worth of clothes for half that because Kohls is fucking awesome. I’m totally with you on the self doubt (and, hi, I’ve been sad on numerous occasions because of my handwriting as well. Pen and paper are two of my biggest weaknesses and it sucks that my handwriting screws it all up).
Girl. Totally feel you there. It leaves you completely exhausted.
I will…hmmm. You know what? I’ll get myself a fucking awesome haircut. Because right now I look like a homeless person.
I just want to buy something fun, not related to school starting or setting up an apartment. Whatever calls to me.
I am separated from my husband and just got a new job, so I’m gonna get a massage. No ones touched me (except awkward “how are you doing” hugs) for 2 months and my whole body hurts from standing (no sitting, no leaning on stuff) for 9 hours.
I’m going to buy myself a pretty top, i have enough ratty tee shirts.
Hey girl,
I am going to buy myself a mattress pad because I’m a college student and my mattress sucks! It squeaks at every miniscule movement and I wake up feeling like I’m slowly forming a hunchback from it.
I totally feel you on the handwriting thing, I find that certain pen/paper combinations will give me better or worse handwriting, I know that sounds super weird but it always seems to be the case that gel pens=amazing happy handwriting, while fine ballpoint pens=chicken scratch.
Amazing how people with completely different lives can relate to the same feeling.
I want to buy some bath fizz and salts to have comfy bubble baths to soak away the stress.
I let myself take a nap until 8pm last night because I was tired. And I didn’t feel guilty.
I feel you with the self-doubt. I don’t think this next sentence will magically help you feel it less, but I am 1000% convinced that I’m going to love the shit out of your food blog and lunches(!!!!) project. I am not alone. You rock. The people are agreed on this.
As for something to do to be nice to myself, I am going to buy a fall jacket. I have one, it fits and it’s warm. But it’s also boring and not my style. Fall in the Northeast means wearing jackets A LOT and I think my life would be substantially improved if I really liked my fall jacket. So yeah. I’m gonna start hunting for one.
I am so guilty of this, but working on it. I’ve learned to delete those “friends” from Facebook who seemingly “have it all” and to realize that I have it pretty damn good too, even if I don’t document every single instance of it.
I owe myself a pedicure since the last one I had was in the first week of June and shit is looking ROUGH.
I definitely can relate to the self-doubt tunnel/circle. And yes, it’s utterly exhausting! But sometimes reading posts such as yours turns on the light inside my brain and I can see things for what they are. THANKS! Also, I know exactly how you feel about the bad handwriting…
I’m definitely not feeling the exact same way from across the world. No, we are not living parallel lives. NEVER.
Also, who’s your best friend gotta blow in order to win the $25 Visa card?
Last night I totally was too late to yoga and I was really pissed at myself first, but then I took the time to just walk around the neighborhood and do some window shopping (and a little bit of actual shopping) at book stores and consignment shops. I rarely take the time to look and enjoy a neighborhood – it was nice!
Dude! Don’t get down on yourself. Want to hear something cool? I’ve been reading your blog lately because it inspires me. YOU are motivating the hell out of me!
And yeah, I think feeling this way is natural. There are some pretty kick-ass people out there doing amazing things, so it’s hard not feel jealous or intimidated. Just remember that you are doing some awesome shit too, and if it’s good now it’s only going to get better. Give yourself a break and tell yourself you’re doing a good job. It doesn’t have to be perfect right away!
Now, if only I could tell myself the same thing and believe it…
I am consistently trying to not beat myself up, but there’s always SOMETHING that bugs me in any given moment. Right now I’m jonesing for some new shoes and new shoes ALWAYS make me feel better about myself so I’m thinking it’s time to indulge my wants.
I’ve been in a sad cocoon all week. Btw’s, I love that phrase. I’m also on the verge of launching a new project, so experiencing a mix of terror, excitement and oh-my-god-what-have-I-gotten-myself-into. One thing that’s helped has been reading the game of thrones book. Nerdy, but true. So, I’d use that $25 to pick up the next book in the series, Clash of Kings. Funny how isolated we feel when so many people are going through the exact same thing. That boggles my mind.
I will get myself a massage. Between all of my medical stuff going on, my husband away a lot from work (which means I have to take care of the house/dogs/errands/etc), my hatred of work and just being OVERWHELMED in general, I need a gosh darn massage. And I am worth it.
My amazing plan to be nicer to myself is to finally buy the silly Dance Central game and have it ALL TO MYSELF, so that finally I can dance like no one is watching because no one WILL be watching, and it will be the best. AND it will help me to work out much more often without wanting to stab myself with a spork. Because, you know, its a fun workout instead of a life-and-happiness sapping one. HUZZAH!
I’m taking a letterpress workshop on Sunday because it’s something I’ve been interested in trying for FOREVER. Can’t wait!
I’m a fanatic of keeping healthy and keeping in shape I love yoga and running to release stress and to accomplish distances( 5 k races, and hopefully a half marathon eventually). With all that exercise, I like to treat myself by getting massages every now and then.
Some nights when I get home from work I actually choose between eating and showering or I take a nap in the shower so I have energy to eat. True Story.
I don’t think that’s so much an indication of success but of being a crazy person that doesn’t think they’re doing it right unless they’re doing ALL OF THE THINGS ALL OF THE TIME, which mostly just means working an absolutely insane amount. So my nice thing is to get a massage because it forces me to relax and because being a chef is not actually that fun for my body. Double win.
I totally understand where you’re coming from with this post, and I feel like you’re going to turn that corner soon. I mean, *I* for one am super duper excited about your food blog and I can’t wait to hear about the 100 lunches, and I think those projects automatically qualify you for the Badass Butterfly Award.
Also, I really appreciate your question of “What do you want to be known for?”. When I’m feeling down on myself, I usually ask myself how I envision my dream life and then what steps I need to take to get me closer to that dream. It usually sort of works for me…
And as for that Visa giftcard, I think that the nice thing I do for myself today will be to take a nap and catch up on sleep. Or paint my toenails an outrageous color. Or maybe even take myself out to the movies. And hell, even buy myself popcorn.
P.S. Even though I read all about free-shit September in your earlier posts, I definitely read it as shit-free September this particular time and I was all, “Oh man that sounds uncomfortable.” Just thought you needed to know that.
1) I saw your tweet yesterday and thought, “Nicole has some cool handwriting. Looks like she’s ready to kick ass.”
2) My handwriting is rough. RRRR-OUGH.
3) I’m going to get some gluten-free, sugar-free, chocolate-free “chocolate” chip cookies and munch on them whilst writing the shit out of my current novel.
A nice thing I would do for myself? Buy myself an article of clothing…I never shop for myself and always feel frumpy
Go to places that are really good for people watching, like the grocery store on the shitty side of town, or a family reunion in Nebraska, or a Nascar race… immediately feel amazing about my whole. entire. life.
I mean, if you’re going to compare anyway, might as well go find a scenario in which you’ll emerge as the winner, amiright??
I swear to Jesus, you sneak into my house, read my sad girl diary and write entries just to make me feel better. Right? It’s the only option.
I have been major struggling with this the part month or two. On the one hand, I’m all, I CANNOT HANDLE THIS AND IT IS UNJUST TO EXPECT ME TO. And yet, on the other, I see other people dealing with their shit just fine and then I feel like MORE of a failure.
Vicious cycle. I like to tell myself I have more shit to cope with than others do, but maybe the answer is I am actually crazier??
I am not sure what I’d do with a $25 card…but maybe just buy something UNEEDED without guilt. Books, or a nice, not-from-Kmart bra….
This will sound super nerdy, but I’m a recipe fiend. But I have nowhere to put them. Organizing projects are really relaxing for me, so I am going to finally organize my recipes in a binder, with lots of soothing color-coded magic going on.
I slept til 9 this morning. That was a major big effing deal, as I’m usually up by 6 and out the door by 8. It was glorious.
I definitely feel this way right now and it sucks. I am a recent graduate with my Masters and Teaching Credential, applied to over 40 jobs in the state and did not get one. This job market is horrible and I just want to be a teacher. I am a substitute now and looking for a restaurant job to supplement my income. The days were I have nothing to do are the hardest because I just get down in the dumps and feel a little bit like I failed after 5 years of higher education. I know it’s just the job market, but I compare myself to friends who got jobs and it sucks.
What I would do is go shopping. It is almost my birthday and I haven’t been able to shop because I have no money, just student loans. I need some retail therapy.
Amen. You seriously speak my language. Nice thing I’m going to do for myself: Get a pedicure. I haven’t had one in over a year because spending an extra $25 dollars on myself makes me feel guilty, which is the stupidest thing even to me.
I am going to take this evening to sit on my couch, eat a couple of pizzas, and read a book that has nothing to do with my job, the class I’m teaching, or the thesis I’m working on. I’m going to allow myself to have the entire evening with nothing that I’m required to do. And I’m turning off my goddamn phone.
Does it help at all (in a “this-shouldn’t-make-me-feel-better-but-it-totally-does-anyway” way) that you are one of those people who make ME (and, I’ll bet, a large portion of others) feel like I am doing NOTHING with my life because I am not doing all the awesome things you are?
The nice thing that I will do for myself to combat the “oh god why can’t I be more like Nicole?!” feeling: bake something that I feel would qualify as “a dessert that would get me laid.” Bonus points? Take a pretty picture of it.
Damn woman, you’ve got some mad writing skills and with handwriting becoming a lost art, who needs all those pretty, annoying-ass loops?
I have to say, I’ve already got a jump on being nice to myself but in the name of money I’ll post it on here.
I let myself be social without worrying about what kind of person I come across as. Talking to people I hardly know? Check. Getting to know people I already know better? Check. Feeling better about myself? Check. I am who I am and I’m working on not worrying about it. Definitely would recommend it to anyone. Keep up the good work, you kickass.
After I run my 10k next weekend, I’m going to get a much-deserved and much-needed massage. And then, a month later, I just might get another one.
I’m going to buy that damn corset I want. After I find a good price on it. And because this week has been the week from hell (excluding some shining moments) I am also going to make myself tea when I get home.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels her hand writing could be better and MAKE things better. And I have to second a commenter above me or thinks it’s ironic that someone they hold their life up to and feels like they could be more MORE can feel the same way. I see you as so fun and creative and always so sparkly and “with it”.
I’m going to pack my bags and move to Boulder, Colorado because I’ve been stuck in this fucking town for far too long (cue Counting Crows). That’s what I’m going to do.
Firstly, you are MADE of awesome. With a spoonful of unicorns and rainbows thrown in. The 100 Lunches project is one of the coolest things that I’ve read about on the web, and you and Jamie (rather than James Bond… why is it that you and Jamie are like peas and carrots on my brain? Is it because I’m Forrest Gump? OMGTANGENT) and two wicked smart, driven girls. I wish I had half my shit together like you.
For myself… I’m going to take time off work. And… drink some whiskey. In Ireland.
I would take myself to the movies (probably the latest romantic comedy, or what I like to call ‘brain candy’). I would treat myself to popcorn, a diet coke AND peanut M & M’s. And I would dress up for the occasion (hey, you look good, you feel good, right?!)!
Self-doubt is the worst! I’ve always said that most human beings are the exact wrong amount of stupid — we’re stupid enough to berate ourselves for not being good enough/smart enough/pretty enough, but smart enough that we can then have all these secondary emotions (guilt about wallowing, frustration, etc.) It sucks!
One thing I plan on doing for myself is getting a massage. They always put me in a fantastic, powerful state!
To make me happy I’ll wear a ridiculous outfit around the house (occassionally in public) and do something unimportant in it.
For example: Wear an old bridesmaid dress and watch Maury while reading blogs and eating poptarts. Yes, I win at life.
What would I do with a $25 Visa card? I would buy ridiculous clothes to further this obsession. All Smiles!
So today is my good to myself day. I took the day off work. I slept in. I’m not doing anything stressful today. Sometimes when work gets too much and everything else seems stressful, extra sleep and relaxing will make it all feel better for me.
“Because, let me tell you, feeling badly about yourself uses a lot of fucking energy.”
AMEN. I didn’t even realize how true this was until you said it. Kind of amazing since I’ve been going through a wicked bad depressive period for the past week and have barely been able to get out of bed the entire time…
One thing that really helped bring my mood back up was watching The Ugly Truth with my floor monitor. To that end, I think I’m going to stock up on some stupid chick flicks and force myself to watch them with the girls on my floor when I’m feeling crappy. There’s nothing like watching Anne Hathaway or Amanda Bynes (shut up) to get you smiling again.
Great post – I didn’t even realize I have this incessant internal monologue of self-pity/loathing/doubt/etc. (which sounds terrible) until you brought it up. You’re right, we should make a conscious effort to be nicer to ourselves!!! Hmmmm – with $25, I’d probably buy a book (or a pretty new journal, gotta practice that handwriting!), a pumpkin spice latte, and some new nail polish for a relaxing random afternoon
I’m going to get white board markers and write *positive* happy thoughts on my mirror in bathroom
Awesome thing: read one poem a week.
And this one has often shown me the steps out of my sad cocoon. Especially the third stanza.
http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm
All of those things, for reals. I’m going to get a pedicure. And also I’m going to stop working too much for my crappy job and start making time to focus on and apply for jobs that don’t make me want to hit a pedestrian on the way there so I don’t have to go in to the office.
I recently lost 40 pounds, and I’ve been wanting to do something nice for myself. I want to get a massage honestly. I’ve been hating on myself for the past few days, just because I can’t seem to loose any more weight. It’s really nice that you put this blog up and share your life with us, I really appreciate it. It’s nice to know that someone else is feeling/has felt the way I do. Thanks for sharing, Nicole!
Give myself the day off. I only work part time and I love it, but I feel like I can’t take time off because then my co-worker has to work the whole day. It’s a long time at a desk! But I never mind covering for her, so I shouldn’t feel bad to take a day and go have fun!
i would treat myself to some better work shoes or a great hair cut!
You’re definitely one of the people who makes me wonder why I can’t be that awesome. I keep wanting to copy your projects.
What nice thing am I doing for myself? Boyfriend and I are joining the softball team that his coworkers & their SOs are putting together. Social activity AND exercise! Both will be great for my emotional health, but–I need a glove first.
We all need to learn to treat ourselves w more kindness, I am going to buy myself a new pair of fall boots…steve madden military style, so cute. (these boots are made for walkin)
And now I have an important question to answer for myself. What Do I want to be known for?
I’ve been struggling with those things too, except I have no idea what I Want to do to be able to chase it. Throw in relationship problems that also connect to the lack of detection in my life & tada! Endless supply of self doubt & worry & blah blah.
Something I really need to do for Me, which I never do, is go shopping for Me. A new pair of boots, a fabulous new sweater, new matching underwear, hell even a new sex toy. Being able to but something that makes Me feel good about myself & is a total splurge. Not planned too much, just Decided on.
Also, thank you so much for writing this. Really.
Was thinking of getting a stuffed animal. Mine went missing when my mom got the carpets redone in high school and I miss having one.
Right now I can do a cartweel inside my apartment. Because it may be my first place, and an unfurnished bachelor studio, and it will be this way for a while until I save up to decorate with the beautiful things I want, but it’s mine. There’s room to cartwheel down the middle, and do handstands, and I can even sit on the kitchen counter top and eat nutella out of the jar with a spoon because no one is going to tell me not to!
After a stressful move, starting a new job, and moving five hours away from my boyfriend (!!!) I’ve been carrying stress in my shoulders like a backpack. I need to get a massage, stat!
Nice things I should do for myself: clean the bathroom….again….as my siblings are utter slobs and on an unrelated note, finish my stoopid thesis. With a $25 giftcard, I’d buy me some Kate Nash songs to accompany said tasks so that I can be done ONCE AND FOR ALLLLLLL.
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not”
I just found that quote on Pinterest (which is my current obsession) and it’s true. So the nice thing I’m going to do for me is believe in myself. I will stop having self-limiting doubts and holding myself back because of fear of failure. I’m only a failure if I believe myself to be one. So I won’t be doing that. Instead I’ll believe myself to be a writer, because that’s what I want to be.
I think you’re pretty legit. Too legit to quit. Which is why I keep coming back to your blog.
Just so you know, you have inspired life changes in me several times, so stop feeling inadequate and give yourself some damn credit. Now that I’ve encouraged you , I will set up a photo shoot with my photog brother, get dressed in my new adorable boots and find myself a sexy top and do my gorgeous hair. I will be pretty. I will be marvelous. I will be the me that we all want to be.
I would get a French manicure on my toes!
Oh, P.S. I forgot to include this video which I think is very fitting for the blog post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdqUJT-nPes
I started writing my book, didn’t tell anyone, then announced that I was writing it via blog.
I didn’t write as much because people started asking, and if I didn’t write, I wouldn’t let anyone down.
But I’m letting myself down.
I’m going to write again.
Oy. This post made me sigh with releif. I go through these phases too- as well as the feeling super motiviated and good about myself phases as well.. but the downers seem much harder to embrace/kick/let go of. I am going to give myself a break from the constant nagging in my head about what im eating, why i need to eat this or that and just enjoy the week before i go wedding dress shopping (which is what is causing the nagging obvi)- its me, my mom and my best friend and for christ sake its supposed to be FUN and i will look BEAUTIFUL damnit.
I am going to start looking for a house/condo to buy. I used to say that I couldn’t buy a place unless I was married, had a boyfriend, blah blah. Nope, I’m not waiting around anymore – I’m going to be a big girl and do it on my own!
I don’t really need the gift card, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re fucking awesome and just the greatest at expressing things. Every time you post, there’s at least one line (often four or five) that I immediately make my gchat status or put on my tumblr or both. So yes. You’re awesome.
I am going to have a personal chef cook a week’s worth of meals and deliver them to my house.
That stuff’s gotta be healthier than McDonald’s.
I’d love to be known for being funny. Because I think I’m funny. I don’t know if anyone else thinks that though
I’m going to buy a huge luxurious bath towel and i don’t care if it EATS my tiny bathroom! (Unless really nice towels are like $400.) Nice towels post-shower are the best thing ever! It’s like being on vacation.
WAIT but first, $25 card or no, i’m going to buy myself a macaroon! i’ve never had one!
Not comparing is one of my biggest obstacles! I’m going to take a day off from work to relax, not to obsessively cross stuff off my to-do list.
I have it on good authority that reading this awesome link below will inspire you and help you focus
http://nicoleisbetter.com/the-life-less-bullshit-manifesto
I strongly believe that we wouldn’t think, let alone say to anyone, a fraction of the things we think about ourselves. We’re much more accepting of other people’s flaws than the ones that we perceive about ourselves.
We all totally need to stop being so mean to ourselves. I’m going to go and get that tattoo I’ve been thinking about and I’m not going to worry what anyone thinks.
“Less sad cocoon, more badass butterfly.”
I think you need to make a thirty second cartoon with that as the tagline. Because, really, it is brilliant.
That aside, I get overly sentimental about my pathetic handwriting ALL. THE. TIME. Which makes me wonder if my love of snail-mail is actually masochism…
I’ll have lunch with you!
I’ll have lunch with you! Don’t worry/
I, too have felt sadness for not having pretty handwriting! Many hours were spent in high school trying to correct this…
This month I will get a pedicure!!
So, I’m a PhD student, which means that I’m a full time student and a full time teacher at the same time. This all means that I’m pretty tired, pretty stressed, and pretty full of self doubt all the time. I’m teaching college composition to a bunch of fantastic freshmen whom I mostly adore and taking some unbelievably interesting classes that I mostly enjoy… but all my effort is put into stuff outside of myself and very little effort goes into myself. So I decided that I would take a day next weekend and carve Halloween pumpkins with my friends, because it makes us happy. It’s so freeing to say “I’m going to do this thing purely for the joy of it and not so that it will help my students/make me seem smarter!” We’re pretty excited…
I’m going grocery shopping today and purchasing ingredients for at least two healthy, delicious meals to prepare for myself during this busy week. Using my new pots and pans! I think that’s three nice things for me…
I just discovered your blog. What a timely post you’ve written b/c I’ve been going through these feelings myself. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m just accepting that I don’t want certain goals I thought I wanted & to stop feeling bad about it. Back to square one & it surprisingly feels good. Love your honesty & openess!
Great post. I found you through a link at Yes and Yes (yesandyes.org). I think you’re absolutely right. I’ve found that the internet provides a mix of motivation and sad, negative envy. We often put our best foot forward around others and that means the internet can be filled with a false cheeriness sometimes, yet it’s nice to be surrounded by the positive airs once in a while too. I’m going to buy running shoes for myself to get a good workout in. I’ve started running a local park with my roommate but I still have $10 tennis shoes from walmart that are literally falling apart on the bottoms. Thanks for some motivation!
I am going to trade in our nine-year old futon for a comfortable sectional couch. Because it hurts my butt and now I’m pregnant and I deserve to be comfortable. Great post!
I’m taking myself to Vegas for my 30th birthday for the first week of November. Boom.
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