If you’re reading this anywhere other than on my actual site, you need to click over rightthissecond because I have an entirely redesigned blog and I love it so much that I’ve completely lost track of reality and all I want to do is dance around naked to Damian Marley songs while staring at my blog on the biggest screen I can possibly find.

In other totally related news, I HAVE A JOB and that job is managing business operations for Shatterboxx Media (my roommate’s pimpass awesome graphic & web design company) and yes this means that she’s the one who designed my blog and yes this also means that in addition to living together, Jamie and I are also working together and I cook for her every night so basically we’re married without the sex. Which is to say that all I need from men at this point is the sex and maybe I should start taking applications for that. Or maybe I should stop making decisions based on how turned on I am by my new blog design. Or maybe I shouldn’t be typing this while drinking.

Either way, Jamie and I working together is kind of like a dream come true. And by “kind of,” I mean “eleventy thousand percent” because our creative process in action is nothing short of ridiculously incredible (or incredibly ridiculous).

Like, okay, so we’re making the navigation for my blog, right, and we’re using totally normal symbols like a girl for “the girl” page and a megaphone for “the shout out” page and then we get to “the book” and we’re all, “let’s do something totally random” and I suggest a tiny vagina and Jamie is like, “I don’t have a tiny vagina image,” and I’m all, “I’ll Google it” and then I start searching for “tiny vagina” and “tiny vagina image” and oh my god my advice to you is to NOT GOOGLE THINGS LIKE TINY VAGINA because you get entire pages of people asking questions like, “Is my tiny vagina hole normal?” and I’m all, “I don’t know, let me see it” but then I’m like, “NO I’M JUST KIDDING THE HORROR THE HORROR” and we opt for using a fishbowl instead.

But wait, look closely at the fish in the bowl for a second. Doesn’t it sort of look like a baby shark? What do baby sharks even look like? Are they just smaller versions of actual sharks?

You know what, no, let me pause before I spend the rest of the day looking up baby shark pictures and instead tell you about the fantastical fact that in honor of my joining Shatterboxx, Jamie and I are giving away one full custom blog design and that the giveaway starts right now and that all details can be found over on her blog and that the inclusion of your own baby shark is totally negotiable.

The end.