I was going to start by saying that lately, I’ve had this nonstop feeling that there are just too many things to do and not enough time to do them. But then I started thinking about it, and I realized that that’s not what’s been happening lately, it’s what’s been happening always.
I can’t think of a single time in my life where I’ve felt consistently relaxed and in control of everything that needs to get done. Even back in elementary school it was like, “Shit, I have to memorize the state capitals and practice playing my recorder and help my mom with chores and decide what to do the next time Ben Sherman chases me around the playground to kiss me because he wants to play ‘husband and wife tag.’”
(Side note: Teachers and parents? Please don’t let your 3rd graders play fucking husband and wife tag.)
And now, even though I’ve moved on from husband and wife tag to co-owning a company, let me tell you, the stress is pretty much the same. It’s all, “What do I do if this happens? Or this? Or this? How will I react if I get backed into a corner? What’s the right thing to do here? How do I fight for what I want, instead of what the Ben Shermans of the world want for me?”
I used to think the answer was just doing more and more and more and more. I’d get up earlier, stay up later, work longer, read faster and cram as much as I possibly could into each day. But fuck, that’s exhausting. And even without reading the eleventy thousand studies about how stress will literally kill you, I already know that I don’t want to be exhausted all the time.
Over the past month, I’ve almost reached up-in-flames style burnout about 29 times. And the worst part is that everything I’m doing is something I love. If I were feeling burned out by a job I hated and a life that made me crazy, it would be an easy fix, but what do you do when you’re overwhelmed by the life you want?
I’m reading a wonderful book right now, Eat That Frog! by Brian Tracy, and despite the fact that exclamation points in book titles make me stabby, I’m finding his 21 tips to “stop procrastinating and get more done in less time” to be extremely helpful, quick to digest, and totally bullshit-free.
The heart of the book comes from something Mark Twain once said about how eating a live frog first thing each morning ensures that from there, your day can only get better. With that in mind, Tracy takes you through a series of tips on how to spend more time doing the things that matter and less time doing the things that don’t, with special focus on the questions you need to ask yourself to better recognize the difference between the two.
The best part of the book, though, is that all 117-pages basically just give you permission to fucking RELAX. Tracy says it best in his intro: “There is never enough time to do everything you have to do,” which is basically the most freeing concept I’ve ever heard.
Posted in: personal growth and shit
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There is never enough time to do everything you have to do”. Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?!
Perfect timing. I needed this. I’ve been done school for 2 weeks but have spent the last 10 days at work for 10 hours a day. Getting more shit done. And not feeling the least bit happy when I cross something off on my to-do list BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH MORE TO DO. I must check this book out. (I’m adding ‘buy this’ to my to-do list)
And as a third grade teacher, I will say- I’ve never condoned husband and wife tag. I did catch my kids playing something called ‘diarrhea tag’ this year and was equally grossed out and yet, bizarrely fascinated. But eventually so grossed out we banned tag for the rest of the recess until we could rein in the gross.
ALSO. Whenever I see Asian babies now, I want to whip out my camera and take a picture. YEAH. LIKE THAT’S NOT CREEPY AT ALL.
Well thank you for this! I may have to check that book out! And that quote… genius!
I love this post, I have been following Brian Tracy on twitter but I have not really had time to follow up on his links…the irony is not lost on me. So I will add this book to my list of things to check out when I get time. Whilst trying to get all of the stuff done I came across a guy called Lev Yilmaz and have included his website address, check out his Procrastination and Project animated cartoons. Funny because its true. Now if you would excuse me I am off to get my stuff done…..love your Blog.
i’m adding that book to my reading list. because:
what do you do when youre overwhelmed by the life you want?
yes. this. exactly. thank you. tears and sniffles.
<3
1. I should probably read that book too. I’ve been feeling all sorts of crazy lately. 2. I think my problem in life is that I wasn’t worried enough about practicing the damn recorder. Hence, my musical talents peaked at age 8. That’s really no way to be. If only I were more with it back in 3rd grade. Instead, I was all like “wow I have a huge crush on Andrew Castiglione” and “oh shit, i need to write awful epic 13-page stories about haunted houses (that were basically a direct rip-off of goosebumps)”
I think I need to read that book for the exact opposite reason. I am really good at letting myself get caught up in how much time something is going to take, and then just NOT doing it because there’s a good chance I won’t have time to finish. It’s really lame but pretty much I’m afraid of failure. Lately I’ve been trying to just do stuff anyway, and it’s been better!
I’ll check out that book next time I’m at work, hopefully it’s something that would work for someone like me too.
Also yes, you should relax sometimes!
My boss recommended everyone at work read that book. I still haven’t gotten around to it yet, but it’s nice to hear someone else likes it.
Have you ever heard of the spoon theory? There is an article floating around somewhere, but I am on vacation just fucking relaxing, so I don’t have the spoons to look it up right now… but, basically, everybody has a certain number of spoons for each day and every activity takes a certain amount of spoons and sometimes you just need to say fuck it in advance.
Truthfully, fuck it in advance is one of the better phrases in the English language.
You know “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars? It doesn’t relax me. It makes me anxious, despite it’s laid back lyrics and Jamaican weed beat. Him putting off all his shit reminds me of just how much shit I have left to do! I hate that.
And as much as I think everyone should unplug and unwind every now and then, no one should ever be so free and unscheduled that washing their naughty bits isn’t a Must-Do on their days’s To-Do list.
PS (We called it “Family Tag” at my school. I may have went to redneck elementary because I was kissing my pseudo wife, sister, etc.)
See, I am one of those temporarily trapped in a job I am not passionate about but IS very stressful…I am pretty exhausted right now. But I have also learned that life is harder and more stressful when I push myself past my limits and end to having a sobbing break down about something trite like not having mustard in the fridge. So I try (try!!!!) to stop myself before I get to that point. I work all day long, and come home with GOALS THAT MUST BE DONE. BY A CERTAIN TIME. And so being at home wasn’t even relaxing. But since then, I’ve decided to just have two or three things set as To Dos after work, and then RELAX after they are done. I still get stuff done but I don’t wanna cry at the end of it. I have to keep reminding myself I am not on a timer, it doesn’t matter if I get the laundry put away at six or at nine.
Man, how did we teach ourselves as kids to live this way?! I get panicked if Don’t have three creative projects and two social events and exercise and healthy eating and blah blah but I don’t necessarily want to live that way. Sigh. But if I don’t, I feel like I live a boring life.
I just opened my Yoga Journal newsletter and this is what it said:
“No matter how careful you are to avoid putting yourself in taxing situations, as long as you’re living on this earth, stress will hunt you down and wreak havoc on your day.”
Haha.
So the good news is that stress is somehow always there. So it’s not so much a bad sign, just means you’re living life and in it. I always think that as long as you have an outlet, the “flu” door in the chimney to let out the inevitable smoke (read: stress) then you have a tool for life. Whether it’s reading, meditating, running, etc. I feel finding the tool is so important.
Other bit of advice from yoga (ha) I was told to practice mindful laziness this Summer. That is hard for me, but laziness gets a bad rap. Lounging, taking time to truly relax and hell, lay in a hammock is underrated. Here’s to relaxation.
Read Four Hour Work Week, even if you want to work more than 4 hours a week. It sounds gimicky, but it ain’t. Best lifestyle book I’ve ever read (out of six, which is pretty decent).
Husband & wife tag? Wow.
Awesome, now I have two books to pick up today/tomorrow at Powell’s. Also, parallel lives again. I’m in the same place – SO MUCH TO DO ALWAYS, but… It’s stuff I want to be doing. But it’s still overwhelming, and when I need to just fucking relax, I force myself to step away and allow for some input (because the busy-ness is almost always producing, or output, or creating). Watch a TED talk, go to yoga, go for a run, read another chapter in a book. I’m desperately seeking balance this month, and totally know where you’re at.
I am so the girl that is constantly overwhelmed. And that last quote really helps me feel like I’m less of a failure when the day goes by and I haven’t completed half of what I sent out to accomplish. Do you get that whole guilt trip thing, too, when you end up laying on the couch for an hour when you know you “should” be doing something else, but your couch is like butter and is swallowing you whole and you can’t manage to get up even tough you know you should?
Anyway, I adore this post. And you.
PS: I got the goodie bag in the mail and Jay was all, “YAY, VODKA!” and I was all, “Hey, I got some cute panties to wear to the hospital for when I deliver the baby!” It was a win-win for us all. Also, my hair thanks you for the shiny-glossy-serum-stuff. Swoon.
“Eat That Frog!” sounds a lot like “Getting Things Done” by David Allen… except the title is way better obviously.
I hope the book’s lessons help you because I am all too familiar with the anxiety that comes with having too much to do.
Eat that frog is a great book !! best way to beat procrastination
I feel this way all the time. Maybe I should read this book! I’ve recently felt slightly stressed about all the social networking I’m trying to do to get my blog in gear, and I’ve realized that by focusing so much on social networking it’s taking away time for me to write, so I have to find a happy balance. I don’t even want to think about what it will be like when classes start again in August. Ugh. I’ll have to give myself weekly goals in terms of networking for my blog. Good luck to both of us! (And everyone else struggling with balance.)
So, I think I need those Brian Tracy’s tips to procrastinating less and getting more done because I’ve been struggling this month like CRAZY. And I feel like I’m in the exact same position as you now. Having so much to do – and LOVING what you’re doing – but trying to make time for it all? It’s exhausting.
And I think I need to maybe read that entire damn book, come to think of it…
Your recent posts make me feel better about my life. I always feel like there’s something I’m missing or something I should be doing and usually those are the times you need to compartmentalize and enjoy your life as it goes by. I feel like a very organized mess most of the time, but it seems to kind of work. I just wish I were one of those girls who has everything together. But then I guess I wouldn’t be me.
I’m buying that.
I’ll pass on eating a frog, but I think I really need to read that book!
hahaha u r eating frogs a forbidden thing
Yay! It’s 1am. I am procrastinating. Was just about to do more work, but now that I have read this, I will go to sleep. For some reason, I needed your permission. Good night!
I need to read this book! Thanks for sharing!
I’ve heard things like “There is never enough time to do everything you have to do” and I think it totally would be freeing…if I let myself believe it.
I mean, I do believe it. I just, don’t let the thought juices sink into my toes in a way where I actually believe it functionally.
Maybe it would help if I breathe a little more often?
I bought the audiobook version on audible.com, which I am guessing is less annoying than reading exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ve seen “Eat That Frog!” on bookshelves before. You are not alone in your distaste for exclamation-pointy books. But I may have to add it to my reading list now.
Amen to that last part. Well, all of it really, but especially that last part.
Also, I started reading the comment from wishcake before seeing the user name and thought, “Hmm, this sounds like someone I know…” Sure enough, it is. The funny part is that I originally linked to you through Sam Davidson. Oh, internets, how small you are.
Great post! I’ve been through various stages in my life, but very seldom have I had a surplus of time. I think people can be in modes, the ones that can sit for hours in a hammock or on a porch and watch the world go by and the ones that get fidgety after a few minutes. Sadly, there usually isn’t much between.
I’m not sure the book is the right answer though, I don’t think getting more done in less time is the solution. There is always more out there, if you could double the amount of things you do in a day, you will simply find another level of things that you are interested in that you still don’t have time for. I believe less stress follows from an realization that there are things you would dearly love to explore but you never will because it means giving up something ELSE you dearly love – and accepting it.
I am in desperate need of this book. Big surprise there, Geminis.
hahaha
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