So here’s the thing: insomnia fucking sucks.
If you don’t know what it’s like to go through prolonged periods of sleeplessness, all I can really do is repeat my previous statement. INSOMNIA FUCKING SUCKS. It’s not really the not sleeping part, it’s the part where I’m expected to be a normal, high-functioning human being the next day. On NO SLEEP. And then the part where that repeats over and over again, every single day, except for the random night when I miraculously do sleep and the morning after when I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my LIFE, like I’ve had a 35 hour orgasm while discovering a plant that cures cancer, herpes, AND global poverty.
ANYWAY. So I haven’t been sleeping, despite trying all the normal shit. You know, the limiting of the caffeine, the altering of the diet and exercise habits, the not doing work in bed, the taking a bath in the evening, all of it. And nothing works. Even sleeping pills don’t work. I mean, they DO because they make me unconscious, but they never lead to restful or restorative sleep. Here’s what happens with the sleeping pills:
I take one. Actually, I only take half of one because I’m really sensitive to medication and would need approximately 15 uninterrupted hours if I took a whole one. So I take a half. And then I wait until the weird shit starts. Because sleeping pills don’t actually make me sleepy, they make me feel weird. REALLY FUCKING WEIRD. Like, I’ll take one while sitting on the couch watching Bravo and all of the sudden I start to have crazy, whacked out, vivid daydreams of being eaten alive by four-headed geese while circus performers try to set me on fire and I’m all “Fuck, I need to get in bed” so I get in bed and I’m thinking “Wee! Sleep!” and then five minutes later, or maybe 5 hours- I can never really judge time after taking a sleeping pill, I realize that I’m STARVING and that I must have crackers IMMEDIATELY, so I get up and stumble around, forget what in the hell I’m doing, wind up in the bathroom thinking I have to pee, realize that “Oh yeah, CRACKERS,” wander into the kitchen, bring the crackers back to my bed, attempt to get them in my mouth before I pass out, and then I wake up in the morning, after the least peaceful sleep in the entire fucking universe, with crackers everywhere and I’m all, “WHAT HAPPENED?!”
Which, of course, is when I go to The Coffee Bean and ask if they wouldn’t mind injecting a little Apricot Ceylon iced tea, like maybe just enough to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool, directly into my fucking aorta so I can make it through the day.
Posted in: day to day shenanigans
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DUDE. hallucination on sleeping pills is the FREAKIEST SHIT EVER. which is why i swore off the ambien and i'm starting to accept the fact that i'll just never sleep like a normal fucking person and god hates me.
i need a friggin coffee bean around here. starbucks passion tea is so not cutting it.
I used to take Ambien for my sleep problems during my first year at college. On a whole one, I would trample down to the communal bathroom, dragging my arms like an ape. On half of one, I would "fall asleep" to Mary Poppins, only to find Dick Van Dyke seeping out of the television screen and stepping in time in the middle of my fucking dorm room with vivid colored smoke encircling him.
Yeah, fuck insomnia.
Insomnia is like the worst illness in the world but what sucks most is that people don't understand it or treat it as an illness. I mean, it's not like you can call into work tired and useless. My insomnia is directly related to stress because I can toss and turn all week and then once Friday night hits, it's like bam, I'm out for 12 hours straight. So I'm lucky to know that there is solace every five days or so. The worst is when people are like "just don't think about it" and you're like "shut the fuck up." Yeah, that's annoying.
I had about three hours sleep last night. Should have been absolutely exhausted, WAS absolutely exhausted but just lay there for hours not sleeping. Suffice to say, I feel like crap now. But roll around tonight and probably i won't be able to sleep again. Go figure…
I used to get it bad when I was a kid. About the age of 8-19 it was really bad. Now It's transformed into something like Chronic Fatigue…I've gone from not being able to sleep at all, to being so tired I could fall asleep All The Time.
My partner has the Insomnia though, which sucks.
I took sleeping pills for a while, my doctor told me to take it then go to bed. When I did that it was fine, but one time I took one, didn't go to bed ("I'll wait til I feel a bit more sleepy") then hallucinated for the next 5 hours. My computer keyboard was moving and I was positive it had mountains and rivers and my bedroom was full of sunshine (at 2am). So as far as hallucinations go, not too bad, but still kind of weird.
That's awful! Have you tried taking Benadryl? I have really hard times sleeping sometimes and I'll take benadryl and it knocks me out without giving me the hallucinations that other sleeping pills give me.
I have a friend who also suffers from insomnia and at first he seemed super productive but then there were times he could hardly stay awake at work. Maybe you can write a post about what the doctors say if you haven't already. What does the insomnia do when you travel? If you couchsurf on your epic cross country trip, will your hosts awaken to their Ritz biscuits all gone and telltale crumbs scattered about? Not that this changes anything—your lovely sense of humor and randomness will make up for any insomnia weirdness.
Try melatonin. It's a naturally occuring substace in your body that regulates your circadian rhythm. You can get the supplements pretty much anywhere. My entire family has used it for jet lag, insomnia, you name it. No weird side effects. No weird dreams. And no waking up groggy.
I know – more unsolicited advice is JUST what you needed.
I agree. I've tried this stuff before, and it works great.
No joke. I often have trouble sleeping and since I starting taking melatonin, I sleep much better. Not perfect every night, but definitely better than when I wasn't taking it.
Ambien made me sleep… sort of. It was the heavy kind of sleep where I felt like a huge weight was covering my body, if I woke up I had to stabilize myself by crawling along the wall and I ALWAYS woke up hungry and tired the next morning.
I love that you can find humor in something as frustrating as insomnia!
My husband has problems sleeping, and he's tried different sleeping pills. He said Lunesta made him pass out, but his friend said he called him and talked to him in the middle of the night … and he hated the way it made his mouth feel/taste the next day. He's tried ambien, but it only worked if he was doing something after taking it (like cleaning the house); if he just sat down/laid down, he never fell asleep. He tried another one recently, but it made him freak out. He literally thought he was dying, so we didn't like that one. Ah, well.
Lately, he has tried drinking a cup of yogi bedtime tea right before bed, and he has slept through the night and woke up feeling great.
Sleeping pills sound so scary to me! I mean, they just mess with your mind so intensely.
I fuckin love crackers. And shit like that is why I can't take sleeping pills. I'm 100% positive that I would gain 65 pounds in crackers.
Oh jebus, I would not be able to function like that and it doesn't sound like you're having any fun attempting it. I hope you can break this one and get the rest you need to wrangle ALL THOSE CHILDREN. Should I send alcohol? I can send alcohol. <3
if you're interested, i can write you up a yoga sequence that could help relax your muscles and mind and maybe slow down your heart rate a bit so the panic of NOT sleeping doesn't keep you from sleeping even more…lemme know sugar!!
why don't u try meditating? Meditation calms the mind and body and could help you relax and thus sleep.
I suffer from restless sleep, so no matter how much I sleep I wake up feeling like someone has just thrown me back in bed after running a marathon. I wish there was some pill to take that would magically make me a deep sleeper, but like you they make me nuts. It's such a pain.
oh man that sucks. matt's been going through insomnia too lately and i wish i could help him because i tend to pass out. oy. at least there's coffee bean right?
Are you coming to San Diego still? Sleep or no sleep, you are welcome to my couch.
girlfriend, get yourself in a hot yoga studio. i slept like a BABY after that marathon session!
Damn girl. Maybe you need a sleep test. Not to sound like a weirdo or anything, but my boyfriend watches people sleep for a living and analyzes the problems. Then you can get an adequate prescription or at least some idea of what might help.
Dude. I feel as though you reached into the pit of my brain, took out my thoughts and put them on your screen. I have the hardest time sleeping (ask Peter, I complain to him about it frequently). I'm averaging 2-3 hours a night right now and given how this week has been, baby needs more rest. I'm THISCLOSE to losing my shit (already this has started, notice how I referred to myself as 'baby'). I have sleeping pills but I wake up so groggy that I try not to take them. I think you should try out all the methods people have suggested here then email me and tell me what works. (See how lazy I am? Also a side effect of not sleeping well). Love you.
That's terrible. Whenever I go through bouts of insomnia, I feel super-impressive and productive, and then I can barely get through the day without walking into 14 walls and I've become a failure who can't seem to stop laughing. But I just don't have the balls to try sleeping pills–I've been known to trip out off of Day-Quill.
Good luck!!!
You've probably tried the conventional ways already and it doesn't help much. However there are some high-tech methods out there that are extremely effective without the side effects of sleeping pills. For example there are binaural beat CDs that bring you down to delta brain waves (the same kind as in deep sleep). There is also a DVD called AV3X which is incredibly relaxing (way more powerful than a simple nature sounds CD), as well as several other solutions. Please visit our website at http://www.sleep-alternative.com for more information.
Also you might want to try weight lifting, it might sound strange but it really helps a great deal (IMHO more than cardio). It's another small way to chip away at the problem, if you can start finding ways that improve the situation you will relax more, you'll sleep better…
Oh, looky here. It's 1:16am, and I am still awake. Why? I'm NOT effing depressed. I just can't sleep. Why do all docs say, one is depressed if one can't sleep. I think it is, you can't sleep and then OF COURSE YOU GET DEPRESSED! Who the hell wants to walk around like an idiot and look like a dead zombie? THAT my friends is depressing. I just wanna sleep for shit sakes.
sleepless in beaverton
Hey guess what? I am currently awake because of fucking insomnia. So, so, so lame.
You need to get down to the root cause in your body presenting the symptom of insomnia. I would check out an ND (Naturopath doctor).
oh man. just make it through the summer. You can do it! Let's chat soon honey! I miss you.
I went through a bout with insomnia my sophomore year of college. It was one of the worst things I have ever experienced. And I hope it's better for you now. I honestly don't know how I got over mine, but I hope yours just disappeared.
i have tired all prescription drugs, but non of them work. i have been suffering from insomnia for the past 12 years. I have no idea what to do with it. it doesn't kill u, but it makes u to kill yourself all the time. it completely killed my cognitive ability in life. it made me friendless and it makes me to think improper. the worst thing people do not understand, even your close family… i don't know if there is hell and heaven after death, but i know for sure there is hell in earth for those of us who have insomnia. let's hope tomorrow for good. i wish i can find a person who understand my problem, but not really in this cruel world. yeah, fuck insomnia……
Lol. I googled “fucking insomnia” as I’m in the midst of a nice lil’ bout of it… And this was like the third link down. Thanks for entertaining me before I have to “wake up” for work in 2 hours! And that’s annoying how everyone is giving tips. Any real sufferer of insomnia has tried every single one of those. I need a freaking tranquilizer shot to the jugular a la Old School, not melatonin or sleepy-time tea.
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