Comments on: how to survive the hookup culture http://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture a life less bullshit Wed, 16 May 2012 22:46:41 +0000 hourly 1 By: Mirandahttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-27480 Miranda Sun, 06 May 2012 12:06:16 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-27480 Great post! I think it's unfortunate that we have this ridiculous hookup culture, but both men and women are at fault here. Many men (not all) think it's perfectly okay to disrespect women by treating them like sex objects. Yes, ladies, the hookup culture is not empowering. I see too many young women who think that having sex with random strangers is "empowering" or "liberating." A very crucial aspect of empowerment that is missing in these hookups is respect. Respect is usually one-sided or completely nonexistent in hookups. These women are nothing more than sex toys to these men, and it's women stop kidding themselves that they're seen as anything more than sex objects in these hookups. If you sleep with a guy and can't even say what is name is, then there is a problem. The reason why many women are having problems with finding a healthy relationship or even just dating is that men know they can easily get sex from anyone if their "date" doesn't put out within minutes of meeting for the first time. Women have lowered their standards for men. People treat you the way you LET them treat you. If a man can get away with a f**k-buddy type of relationship with a woman, then why would he bother putting in any effort in getting to know her? Why would he put in any effort when he's already getting what he wants: sex with no strings attached. Women need to take a stand and demand that men treat them with respect and treat them like human beings who deserve to be loved and valued. This is the only way this hookup culture will end. Great post! I think it’s unfortunate that we have this ridiculous hookup culture, but both men and women are at fault here. Many men (not all) think it’s perfectly okay to disrespect women by treating them like sex objects. Yes, ladies, the hookup culture is not empowering. I see too many young women who think that having sex with random strangers is “empowering” or “liberating.” A very crucial aspect of empowerment that is missing in these hookups is respect. Respect is usually one-sided or completely nonexistent in hookups. These women are nothing more than sex toys to these men, and it’s women stop kidding themselves that they’re seen as anything more than sex objects in these hookups. If you sleep with a guy and can’t even say what is name is, then there is a problem.

The reason why many women are having problems with finding a healthy relationship or even just dating is that men know they can easily get sex from anyone if their “date” doesn’t put out within minutes of meeting for the first time. Women have lowered their standards for men. People treat you the way you LET them treat you. If a man can get away with a f**k-buddy type of relationship with a woman, then why would he bother putting in any effort in getting to know her? Why would he put in any effort when he’s already getting what he wants: sex with no strings attached. Women need to take a stand and demand that men treat them with respect and treat them like human beings who deserve to be loved and valued. This is the only way this hookup culture will end.

]]> By: The councilorhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-24801 The councilor Sat, 19 Nov 2011 03:34:51 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-24801 Lol, ok I like the way you began with the whole "how shit starts and progresses till hook-up" but after that you kinda loose track of reality. First off, if you really did meet a guy who fits your criteria, you would inevitably get used to being treated well and then take it for granted. Next, the "Nice guy" would eventually stop doing those things you expect because you never show appreciation for how much effort he puts into it. As far as the random hook-up, its not the guys who are fucking you over, it yourself. There is not an endless sea of assholes out there, just about 10%. Unfortunately you only like those 10%. Your the problem! Why do I say that? Well, guys who dont care about you, are not intimidated to talk to you, so they are easy to talk to. They will call you on their terms and will use you till something better comes along. How do you find the good guys? Easy, talk to them first. Dont wait for a guy to approach you, and if he does only give him your number if he sounds like he's nerves as shit. The more casual he sounds the better chance he's a doosher. Most guys are shy, and it takes a little while for them to get over the initail shock of your beauty, before they can hold a steady conversation (without sounding like a blubbering idiot). These guys will treat you the way you [supposedly] want. I learned this because I am a hot guy and always had girls but those girls were always hoes. I eventually realized that I only hooked up with girls who hit on me first. Thats when I started being the agressor and since then, I have only been with quality girls who treat me fucking amazing. People who are kind, unfortunately posses another traite that is less desirable; it takes them some time to warm up to you before they can be themselves. Their kindness has been taken advantage of so many times that they are reluctant to start new relationships. This responsibility, therefore, lies upon you. You must be the agressor. You must show them that you wont take advantage of that kindness but will instead reciprocate it. Lol, ok I like the way you began with the whole “how shit starts and progresses till hook-up” but after that you kinda loose track of reality. First off, if you really did meet a guy who fits your criteria, you would inevitably get used to being treated well and then take it for granted. Next, the “Nice guy” would eventually stop doing those things you expect because you never show appreciation for how much effort he puts into it.
As far as the random hook-up, its not the guys who are fucking you over, it yourself. There is not an endless sea of assholes out there, just about 10%. Unfortunately you only like those 10%. Your the problem!
Why do I say that? Well, guys who dont care about you, are not intimidated to talk to you, so they are easy to talk to. They will call you on their terms and will use you till something better comes along.
How do you find the good guys? Easy, talk to them first. Dont wait for a guy to approach you, and if he does only give him your number if he sounds like he’s nerves as shit. The more casual he sounds the better chance he’s a doosher. Most guys are shy, and it takes a little while for them to get over the initail shock of your beauty, before they can hold a steady conversation (without sounding like a blubbering idiot). These guys will treat you the way you [supposedly] want.
I learned this because I am a hot guy and always had girls but those girls were always hoes. I eventually realized that I only hooked up with girls who hit on me first. Thats when I started being the agressor and since then, I have only been with quality girls who treat me fucking amazing. People who are kind, unfortunately posses another traite that is less desirable; it takes them some time to warm up to you before they can be themselves. Their kindness has been taken advantage of so many times that they are reluctant to start new relationships. This responsibility, therefore, lies upon you. You must be the agressor. You must show them that you wont take advantage of that kindness but will instead reciprocate it.

]]> By: Mrmeanerhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-24774 Mrmeaner Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:50:54 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-24774 lols.. hookup culture. I have been researching on this for a while now. and read this and that and a whole lot of justification from wives who are submissive to other men whom they call their masters while they are still married and are actively fucking around and are proud and justify it. Now are you just suggesting that women are dumb? what about the whole equality thing. You could call me a feminist male. as it what it started out for. and the reasons for what it had actually begun for from a historical stand point. After reading and doing my home work on this, i have realized one thing. Any person could find any justification for any sort of behavior. In the time i have been researching . The number of women who are having extended relationships are far greater than men. I'm sorry my study isn't something that is funded or has a statistic involved. I started this out in my attempt to understand my failed relationship with a woman who expected me to be alright and accepting that she has sexual endavours with other men and women. About good guys and gals. I dunno how you'd find them. But i do know this. Being promiscuous is being promiscuous. wanting to fuck around is wanting to fuck around. Its just that. And wanting to settle down with some 'nice' guy after you have grown tired of that life style is just that. and then turning around and doing what ever the fuck you want after you get married of feeling some kind of security is doing just that. beta-males, alpha-males, beta-females, alpha-females .. it doesn't matter. morals, values, ideals, thats what all this is really about. and the lack there of, and how selfishly some people justify a particular kind of lifestyle and do what ever they want and use their prejudice to justify their ever changing needs of the moment. Thats what all this is really about. lols.. hookup culture. I have been researching on this for a while now. and read this and that and a whole lot of justification from wives who are submissive to other men whom they call their masters while they are still married and are actively fucking around and are proud and justify it.

Now are you just suggesting that women are dumb? what about the whole equality thing. You could call me a feminist male. as it what it started out for. and the reasons for what it had actually begun for from a historical stand point.

After reading and doing my home work on this, i have realized one thing. Any person could find any justification for any sort of behavior. In the time i have been researching . The number of women who are having extended relationships are far greater than men. I’m sorry my study isn’t something that is funded or has a statistic involved. I started this out in my attempt to understand my failed relationship with a woman who expected me to be alright and accepting that she has sexual endavours with other men and women.

About good guys and gals. I dunno how you’d find them. But i do know this.

Being promiscuous is being promiscuous. wanting to fuck around is wanting to fuck around. Its just that. And wanting to settle down with some ‘nice’ guy after you have grown tired of that life style is just that. and then turning around and doing what ever the fuck you want after you get married of feeling some kind of security is doing just that.

beta-males, alpha-males, beta-females, alpha-females .. it doesn’t matter.

morals, values, ideals, thats what all this is really about. and the lack there of, and how selfishly some people justify a particular kind of lifestyle and do what ever they want and use their prejudice to justify their ever changing needs of the moment. Thats what all this is really about.

]]> By: Brandyhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-24505 Brandy Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:02:20 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-24505 dead on. i hooked up and like he LIDGIT TEXTED ME ON THURDAY saying whats up!! like for real i started getting all excited as the blog says! you understand the girls life for sure! dead on. i hooked up and like he LIDGIT TEXTED ME ON THURDAY saying whats up!! like for real i started getting all excited as the blog says! you understand the girls life for sure!

]]> By: Aliciahttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22629 Alicia Fri, 08 Apr 2011 00:19:09 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22629 I couldn't agree with this article more. I just read the last comment too--"be open minded about older guys"--nope. Not in L.A. Peter Pan syndrome. I couldn’t agree with this article more. I just read the last comment too–”be open minded about older guys”–nope. Not in L.A. Peter Pan syndrome.

]]> By: Bradhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22627 Brad Thu, 07 Apr 2011 19:52:20 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22627 I am down right disgusted with the "hookup" culture... so many people do it while still claiming that they'd absolutely love for the right person to come along and sweep them off their feet (the most oxymoronic statement/action combo known to man, in my opinion). Maybe they genuinely are searching for that right person but the chances of that happening while you're actively engaged in the hookup culture are down-right laughable. The person that is going to sweep you off your feet is going to be someone that doesn't hookup with you... plain and simple. I am one of the guys described in the last 3 paragraphs... There are guys and girls out there that aren't short-sighted and selfish and actually respect themselves enough to wait for someone truely worth giving it a shot with before jumping into bed. Women need to realize that they are the ones that have the power to squelch or even eliminate the hookup culture (that absolutely will never happen though, unfortunately). Guys are not emotionally wired the same way women are. It has been studied and proven many ways and many times that guys can have sex with a partner and not have the same emotional/bonding reaction that women do. I'm not saying that this is absolute, either way(meaning there are also women who can hookup like men and have very minimal, if any, feelings afterwards and I'm also saying that some men will exhibit the more stereotypically female emotional reactions after hooking up). If women want a long term, faithful, rewarding, fulfilling relationship then stop doing it with everyone that shows interest in you. Some of you women that responed above are implying (or plainly stating) that a good man is pretty hard to find these days... I feel the exact same way about my chances of finding the right girl for me also. As a side note, I would recommend reading "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think about Marrying" by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker I am down right disgusted with the “hookup” culture… so many people do it while still claiming that they’d absolutely love for the right person to come along and sweep them off their feet (the most oxymoronic statement/action combo known to man, in my opinion). Maybe they genuinely are searching for that right person but the chances of that happening while you’re actively engaged in the hookup culture are down-right laughable. The person that is going to sweep you off your feet is going to be someone that doesn’t hookup with you… plain and simple. I am one of the guys described in the last 3 paragraphs… There are guys and girls out there that aren’t short-sighted and selfish and actually respect themselves enough to wait for someone truely worth giving it a shot with before jumping into bed. Women need to realize that they are the ones that have the power to squelch or even eliminate the hookup culture (that absolutely will never happen though, unfortunately). Guys are not emotionally wired the same way women are. It has been studied and proven many ways and many times that guys can have sex with a partner and not have the same emotional/bonding reaction that women do. I’m not saying that this is absolute, either way(meaning there are also women who can hookup like men and have very minimal, if any, feelings afterwards and I’m also saying that some men will exhibit the more stereotypically female emotional reactions after hooking up). If women want a long term, faithful, rewarding, fulfilling relationship then stop doing it with everyone that shows interest in you. Some of you women that responed above are implying (or plainly stating) that a good man is pretty hard to find these days… I feel the exact same way about my chances of finding the right girl for me also.

As a side note, I would recommend reading “Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think about Marrying” by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker

]]> By: jacomontihttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22587 jacomonti Tue, 05 Apr 2011 15:34:08 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22587 be open minded to older guys, try meeting guys from different cultures, refuse to text, and respect yourself by never sleeping around. Put your phones away, turn of tv forever, stop watching stupid films and reality tv, quiet your inner self , and stop blogging about such private and personal matters such as your use of vibrators. (((You think any self respecting man with strong family values would want to date or marry women who blog about it? FAIL!))) But most importantly - stop being the self centered, know-it-all,condescending, vulgar, stuck-up females most of your generation have become ... that's why so many of you are alone and lonely..... truly humble your souls and you will see the difference... be open minded to older guys, try meeting guys from different cultures, refuse to text, and respect yourself by never sleeping around. Put your phones away, turn of tv forever, stop watching stupid films and reality tv, quiet your inner self , and stop blogging about such private and personal matters such as your use of vibrators. (((You think any self respecting man with strong family values would want to date or marry women who blog about it? FAIL!)))
But most importantly – stop being the self centered, know-it-all,condescending, vulgar, stuck-up females most of your generation have become … that’s why so many of you are alone and lonely….. truly humble your souls and you will see the difference…

]]> By: bradhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22545 brad Fri, 01 Apr 2011 03:13:13 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22545 These guys who you pain for now, these nice guys who will love you for who are not just how good you are in bed are endangered because girls don't want them. Girls in their twenties alwasy go for the guys just after hookups, they fall hook line and sinker for it and when these decent guys realise this they can change and go down the other path. These nice guys always get fucked around by girls playing games with them, testing their confidence and their back bone. If girls in their twenties looked at love logically you'd find more of these guys avaialable to you. Too often they just get hurt and end up frustrated and change. That is why I have moved from a nice guy to joing the hookup culture. I may go back after a while but for now, I have not been happier. Sometimes empty with purely sexual encounters but as a guy, I can have sex without female mind games and tests that come with relationship territory. These guys who you pain for now, these nice guys who will love you for who are not just how good you are in bed are endangered because girls don’t want them. Girls in their twenties alwasy go for the guys just after hookups, they fall hook line and sinker for it and when these decent guys realise this they can change and go down the other path. These nice guys always get fucked around by girls playing games with them, testing their confidence and their back bone. If girls in their twenties looked at love logically you’d find more of these guys avaialable to you. Too often they just get hurt and end up frustrated and change. That is why I have moved from a nice guy to joing the hookup culture. I may go back after a while but for now, I have not been happier. Sometimes empty with purely sexual encounters but as a guy, I can have sex without female mind games and tests that come with relationship territory.

]]> By: Peteyhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22329 Petey Sat, 12 Mar 2011 17:37:38 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22329 Anon is bang on. I also classify myself in the "nice guy" niche. Being a nice guy also means being bitter. I am fit, good-looking, highly intelligent, educated and ambitious. Do you think I have many relationships? I am in the process of trying to change myself in the same was as Anon, because when I ask women out for coffee (which seems completely non-commital) I usually get blown off. When I pepper them with sexual induendo (as they usually do with me) and act indifferent, I get a ton of interest. I only ever knew one girl who was actually interested in a relationship with me and not just sex and like Anon said, she was in her mid-thirties, had slept around with a ton of guys and her biological clock was ticking. She walked all over me--cheating on me and treating me like dirt and then had the gaul to ask, "Why don't you want to marry me?"--while she was sleeping with a new fellow. So yes, such men are endangered because if they know what's good for them, they will try to change... Anon is bang on. I also classify myself in the “nice guy” niche. Being a nice guy also means being bitter. I am fit, good-looking, highly intelligent, educated and ambitious. Do you think I have many relationships? I am in the process of trying to change myself in the same was as Anon, because when I ask women out for coffee (which seems completely non-commital) I usually get blown off. When I pepper them with sexual induendo (as they usually do with me) and act indifferent, I get a ton of interest. I only ever knew one girl who was actually interested in a relationship with me and not just sex and like Anon said, she was in her mid-thirties, had slept around with a ton of guys and her biological clock was ticking. She walked all over me–cheating on me and treating me like dirt and then had the gaul to ask, “Why don’t you want to marry me?”–while she was sleeping with a new fellow.

So yes, such men are endangered because if they know what’s good for them, they will try to change…

]]> By: Link-Love #4 « Nickel By Nickelhttp://nicoleisbetter.com/how-to-survive-the-hookup-culture#comment-22218 Link-Love #4 « Nickel By Nickel Sun, 27 Feb 2011 06:04:32 +0000 http://nicoleisbetter.com/?p=1192#comment-22218 [...] this one is not as recent, but I really enjoyed it; How to survive the hook up culture on More is [...] [...] this one is not as recent, but I really enjoyed it; How to survive the hook up culture on More is [...]

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