deliciously vulgar
From the category archives:
We were making cocktails a few weeks ago and I was trying to recreate the glory of the ginger vodka plus Sierra Mist drink that should unquestionably be illegal, but we didn’t have any Sierra Mist so I rode the elevator down to the basement with a handful of quarters and a mission to empty [...]
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It’s not that I didn’t know where Alaska was. Okay okay, fine. FINE. I didn’t know where Alaska was. I blame the placemat. Do you remember those placemats? The ones that had a map of the United States on one side and a blank map on the other side and the point was to study [...]
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One of my favorite scenarios is when I’m having a conversation with someone and a ridiculous thing comes up and the other person is all, “You couldn’t pay me to do that,” because that’s my cue to call their over-exaggerating bluff and begin the cash-in-a-duffel-bag game. I’m all, “Oh really? What if someone seriously gave [...]
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In case we somehow wind up living together one day, there are a few things you should know about me. Number one is that I bake excellent brownies. Number two is that I’ll likely make your bed whenever you’re not home, whether you want me to or not. And number three is that there isn’t [...]
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I take my phone with me to the bathroom. Do you do that? Is it just me? Am I the only one who’s self important enough to think that the world will explode if I miss a call during the minute and a half that I’m going to the bathroom? I honestly don’t know why [...]
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