deliciously vulgar
From the category archives:
In the past five days, I’ve woken up in three different places. A bed in Wicker Park, a pull out couch at The Standard Club, and a big leather sofa in Lakeview. My eyes open every morning and I’m all, “what time is it?” and “where the fuck am I?” Because being a couch-hoping nomad [...]
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In the years since she moved to Arizona, my mother has become notorious for complaining about the heat. I never really gave a shit, being careful to repeatedly point out that of the two of us, I’m the only one who wasn’t dumb enough to move to the fucking desert. Until now. Until I’m temporarily [...]
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We get in the car, my mother and I, all set for the 7 hour drive from San Diego to Phoenix. My iPhone is plugged in, ready to play the audiobook I downloaded, when my mother looks at me and goes, “Yeah, no. We need to plug Nigel in.” And I’m all, “What do you [...]
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When my phone rings before 8am, it can only be one of two things. Either a staff member of mine is doing the “I’m going to be late and omg I’m so sorry but I’m bringing you a 32oz Apricot Ceylon iced tea from The Coffee Bean so IT’S ALL GOOD” thing. Or it’s my [...]
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So my parents were in town last week. For five days. Which was wonderful because they’re my parents and I love them and it was my birthday, but there’s also the slight matter of them being MY PARENTS and the fact that they stayed in my tiny apartment for FIVE DAYS. Which is to say [...]
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