deliciously vulgar
From the category archives:
So I was on the phone with my parents yesterday and they’re all, “What have you been up to lately?” and I’m like, “I talk to you guys like every single day” and they’re all, “But tell us more things!” so I struggle for a minute to come up with something that’s even mildly appropriate [...]
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A few months ago, my mother called to tell me that she had gotten a ticket for running a red light. “They caught me!” she screamed into the phone. “Well,” I told her, “maybe you shouldn’t drive like an asshole.” “It doesn’t matter because they caught me on that camera thing with the radar and [...]
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When I was packing up my car to move to San Francisco, my mother and I had a little incident regarding the white bowls. The thing about the white bowls is that I absolutely fucking love them. They’re soup bowls, white with a little blue rim, and no one has a clue where they came [...]
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It was the first thing on my to do list last Wednesday: pick up birth control refill. So I call the pharmacy and they’re all, “Oh, sorry, looks like you’re out of refills.” And I’m like, “Um, what? I just had my annual check up six months ago” and the pharmacist is all, “Just have [...]
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