Here’s my problem with workout DVDs: everyone in the video is always smiling. I mean, what the fuck is that about? Do you smile at the gym? I don’t smile at the gym. I never lift weights in front of the mirror and grin wildly at myself like an absolute asshole, but lately I’ve started to think that maybe this is my problem, maybe I should start grinning like an asshole at the gym because the people in the workout DVDs have killer bodies and high fitness levels and maybe the secret to both of those things is smiling like you’re in the middle of the most important photo shoot of your mother grinning life.
In related news, I’m running the LA Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon on October 30. Pfffff, believe me, I KNOW. It’s all Becca’s fault. She got me to agree to it and then I got Jenn to agree to it and now all of the sudden the three of us are running a goddamn half marathon on October 30, which is something that has already taken me so far outside of my comfort zone that I can’t even see my comfort zone anymore. My comfort zone has basically gone into hiding in the Sub-Saharan desert.
When I first agreed to the half marathon, I figured that the only life change I’d have to make would be leaving enough time in my daily schedule for running and cross training. But hey, guess what, that’s not how it works. Right now, I’m in week 4 of a 24-week self-created newbie style training program that I made by combining training schedules for a 5K, 10K, and half marathon, and even though the last three weeks were great, this week I just want to fall to the ground and throw a dramatic, high-pitched, fuck-all tantrum.
It’s not a lack of motivation. It’s that I keep getting cramps. Two of my runs this week were cut short by overwhelming stomach cramps, and it wasn’t until after today’s internal hissy fit (in which I was a raging bitch to myself about how there was no way I was going to be able to run 13.1 miles if I couldn’t even run 13.1 minutes) that I realized that completing a half marathon was going to require a lot more than just a registration fee and some free time in my schedule to work out.
First, I have to stop being such a giant douche-monster to myself. I’d never give Jenn or Becca a hard time if they were getting cramps or having trouble with their training, so I need to treat myself the same way. Mental tattoo: BE NICE TO YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT.
Second, I have to stop eating so much dairy. Runner’s World and basically every other running resource out there tells me that dairy and high-fiber foods are the worst choices for pre-running breakfast if I want to, you know, NOT DIE, so bye bye carton after carton of Greek yogurt every morning (SADS), but I guess it’s okay because I’d rather cut back on all the yogurt than all the cheese (COMPROMISE).
Third, I have to learn how to fucking breathe. This is where half marathon training starts to baffle me, because I’m a grown ass woman who has made it through 25 full years of inhaling and exhaling, but apparently my breathing is too shallow and that’s a huge part of the reason I’ve been getting cramps. Well, that and the limitless yogurt. I get it, body, you want deep stomach breathing and more carbohydrates – RELAX.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, I have to stay present in my training. In today’s research, I read an article about how to mentally deal with the longer runs that reminds you not to get freaked out by how far you still have to go (paralyzing anxiety) or how far you’ve already gone (desire to give into fatigue), with the following running advice that’s really just kickass overall life advice:
Run the mile you’re in.
That’s it. Don’t focus on what just happened, don’t think about what’s coming next, just run the mile you’re in.
Posted in: big giant life list, personal growth and shit, run, baby, run
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Congrats on training for the half marathon! I’m training for the Virginia Beach Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon in September and it is pretty much out of my comfort zone. I’ve only ever run 10 miles at a time (and that was like, 5 years ago) and I’ve stuck to 5ks since then.
Don’t worry, within a few weeks you’ll be pounding out miles like nobody’s business.
I’ve not *actually* started my full on 12 week training schedule yet, but I’ve been running consistently for a few months now and my thrice weekly 3-4 mile run doesn’t even leave me gasping for air!
We totally got this.
Strangely enough this post actually inspired me to train for some sort of running adventure. The degree to which I am out of shape is disgusting. Every morning I wake up on a diet and every day by ten AM I am off it. To be successful in my own running regimen I might have to unfollow you on twitter though. I can’t help but make every recipe you suggest. That mac and cheese? Probably the best thing to happen to my mouth….and the worst to happen to my hips. Oh, and the s’more pancakes? Pretty sure I just finished eating those. YUM.
I’m with Ameena – this also has inspired me to train for some kind of running adventure. Thanks! xo
You rock. I will never ever consider training for a marathon, full or half, unless something significant happens. As in I magically drop 40 lbs. and become incredibly fit overnight and then before you know it I’ll be smiling like a mother-grinner gazelle-ing my way through 45.9 miles or however long a marathon is.
I like that you have realized you need to be nice to yourself. Do that. Immediately. And not only when running with bad stomach cramps.
And the line at the end is very good. I think I might get all Oprah up in here and put that on my desk somewhere.
Don’t feel bad. I suck at breathing too and I’ve been running for years!
Super easy tip for you when you run…try straightening your back up more. When you’re tired your body has a tendency to hunch over, making it even harder to breathe. So straightening your back and keeping your chin up will force your lungs to stretch open, allowing you to breathe more easily.
There is also all that “to breathe properly you must divide your breathe into 3 parts” blah blah. But I wouldn’t worry about that. Just straighten up, relax your muscles and take it one mile at a time.
Good luck on the half-marathon!
So, remember when I said I was going to run tonight?? I didn’t. Here’s the good news. I’ve actually slacked off to the point where we’re now on the same training schedule. So I’m stealing yours and starting where you are. YAY!!! Also, it’s kind of exciting when it’s not painful and/or terrifying.
You’re going to rock it. And you’ll love it. Even if you feel like dying during the race, crossing that finish line is going to feel so fucking amazing that you’ll want to sign up for your next half immediately after (or at least after the post-race nausea goes away…)
I LOVED doing the Rock & Roll last year. It was my first half and I was totally intimidated by the training. I wasn’t very prepared going into the race because I got horrible shin splints during my training and had to basically stop. But on race day, I just told myself there’s no turning back, I have to finish no matter what. And I did. 10 minutes under my goal time, no less.
Good luck! Your training schedule looks great.
One thing that helped me, psychologically, when I was training last year was that at the time, I was reading “Born to Run” (a book about ultra-marathoners). There’s parts of the book where they talk about how the runner was “on the last sprint” of the run, which would be some ridiculous amount like 20 miles to go, and I would just think about that when I was running, i.e., “Seriously, self? You’re freaking out about having to run one more mile? What if you were whatshername from that book, and the ‘final stretch’ of your run was still 20 miles?”
Strangely enough, it totally helped.
yayyyy!!! it makes me so happy when someone becomes a running convert. i did a 10-miler race in may and the minute i finished, i thought to myself, “there is no way i CAN’T do a half now.” mine’s in september, and i don’t start my “real” training until the end of the month. also, i’d never heard/read that about dairy before (and i’m a RW subscriber!). SADS i have to give up the greek yogurt, too. but maybe…recovery breakfast?! AND that running mantra – BEST.
That is the best life advice/gym advice/running advice ever. After a recent move to a new office (meaning a new schedule that requires a longer commute), I’ve had a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym, when I was perfectly fine doing so before said move. I need to get back on track! And if you’re training for a half marathon, then I need to pretend to as well to get my ass moving again. THANKS!!!
while running in austin during marathon training this season, i saw two great phrases graffiti’ed (verb?) on the side of the railroad bridge and they are now my running mantras.
the first one was “focus one point and breathe.” focusing on the trail AND on your breathing are both great ways to distract yourself AND keep steady.
the second is just for fun – “let’s pretend we’re robots!” funny. but it IS your job to be a well-oiled machine! so the only advice i can offer you is to treat your body well. and compression socks. buy them. they are soooo comfy and amazing for recovery. also – they’re sexy.
sounds like you’re right on track!! you’re gonna rock!
Getting outside your comfort zone is GOOD! Good for you! reminds me that I’m sitting comfy right now. Like, sweat pants and a glass of wine, not leaving my couch comfy. Maybe I should follow your lead…
“Run the mile you’re in” is the best running practice you will ever find.
Do you do yoga? I’ve been a runner for 10 years and started hot yoga 6 months ago. I didn’t start out with a breathing problem, and it has still helped me with breathing. Not to mention the amazing core strength that keeps my form in tact for long runs. Just a thought. Good luck training!
wahoo!! this is exciting! you can do it! parts of the training will suck, no doubt. but some runs will be awesome, and completing the marathon (which you WILL do!), will be amazing. and such an accomplishment!
if you ever want to talk running (or yanno, life or whatever else), feel free to email me! im no expert (on running. on life either, but that’s obvious), but i guess i can at least say i’ve been there done that. so maybe just maybe i can offer some little words of encouragement or at the very least, toast wine with you over emails of a shitty run. because we’re gonna have them. but that just makes the awesome runs even more kickass. xoxo
Ahhh! Good luck, lady. I ran a half-marathon in May of last year, and it was the most rewarding thing I’ve ever accomplished. You have cramps? My knees suck, so I was pretty awful at training because I was too wimpy to push myself. Adrenaline of race day totally got me through the race and I actually ran the entire event. So if I could do it, so can you.
Also: smiling burns calories, too. So clearly these people in the workout videos have rockin’ bods simply from the extra calories burned while smiling like an asshole in a workout video.
KICK ASS. GO YOU! A 1/2 marathon is on my Life List but I haven’t even thought about committing to it anytime soon.
It’s crazy about the breathing, right? I do a lot of yoga and obviously breath is the big focus there and it always boggled my mind a little bit how breathing (well, the right kind of breathing anyway) can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
I have no wonderful running tips to offer you since my biggest runs are typically 5ks, but I do know the amount of water I drink makes the biggest difference in whether or not I get a cramp.
“Run the mile you’re in.” I love it. Seriously, Nicole? So happy for you!
1/2 marathons are awesome. Good for you for signing up for one. My one tip – slow down. Seriously. On your long run days, slow down. You’re in for the long haul, and you need to learn how to moderate so you don’t lose energy in the back miles.
Other than that – have fun!
I finished my first ever 5k last weekend. It is a great feeling! I realize that it’s only 3 miles, but…baby steps. (Actually that’s kind of a lie as I have no intentions of ever running anything more than that.)
Thanks for the tips, though! Even though I’m not running a half-marathon, I want to keep running and your post, along with the comments, helps a lot!
GOOD FOR YOU! and I know how that goes with being too hard on yourself. We’re all victims of that. But this is going to be a great accomplishment for you! And I love “Run the mile you’re in” — such good advice for running and life! best of luck!
I’m training for a yet-to-be-determined 5k, ha. But I’m going to write out and hang up that quote, somewhere very, very visible. Run the mile you’re in. That’s probably not a bad metaphor for other challenges, right?
Way to go you registering for the half in October.
I’ve been doing the 30 day shred and I hate a) Jillian Michaels cause she rarely does the workouts and b) the fact that the girls ARE all smiling. Now that you’ve pointed it out I don’ tknow if I’ll be able to notice anything else…
I love this post because it’s a really awesome, hilarious and informative “how to train for a half marathon” guide. So much wisdom and LOLs. While I’m not a runner… though I did get up to 3mi once when training for a half marathon, I DID learn that you have to make sure not to run on worn out shoes. Not that mine started off worn out… but I didn’t realize you have to change them every 300 – 500 miles. Or you can try out that whole barefooted running thing.
xo
“Run the mile you’re in.” is something I’ve been struggling with for years now. It’s hard not to focus on WANT WANT WANT and just be. I love that you got that out of your training experience.
And you are totally going to rock it.
I really like that- “run the mile you’re in.” A great quote both literally and metaphorically.
And the running stuff? I have complete admiration for people who run. It’s supposed to be so good for you and there seems to be such a community around it. I wish I could run, but everytime my heart rate gets up I actually hyperventilate! Like, my hands and feet go numb. And I feel like I’m going to faint. It’s crazy- I thought I had a heart problem so I went to the doctor. He told me I hyperventilate and should stop exercising when that happens. So…I’ll never be a runner. Which is also why I think you and everyone who is able to are awesome. And fancy.
Sucks about giving up dairy though.
As a semi-serious runner myself, I completely agree with the ‘less-dairy-before-running’ lesson. There have been a few morning runs after too much late night super cheesy pizza (sometimes, a girl just can’t help herself!) that left me with not only a cramping stomach, but also desperately searching for the nearest bathroom/porta-potty. Yikes. Stick to protein and carbs before a run, trust me. And the person who had to use that bathroom after I did.
On the plus side, best recovery drink? CHOCOLATE MILK. Seriously, optimal ratio of carbs/protein. So maybe replacing Greek yogurt with chocolate milk = even better compromise.
Good luck!
woo wee you running rockstar!
also, don’t ever cut back on the cheese. that would just be too much sad. remember when i went a week without cheese? that was a really hard week.
What if I want to WALK the mile I’m in?
I don’t run, Nicole. (Unless something or someone happens to be chasing me, but even then I’m more apt to hide than actually run.)
Anyway. Proud of you! I know you can do it, and the hard work and yogurt-less-ness will totally be worth it. Good luck!
I went from couch to full marathon about three years ago and ran the San Francisco marathon. I couldnt even runn two blocks in a row without stopping. I have problems with my breathing and my hydration so I found a program for run/walk. It broke the entire marathon down to 3 minutes running and one minute walking. By the end of the race when the fibers around the tendons in my arches were tearing (again) and the stomach cramps were getting overwhwlming, the mental training became the most impprtant tool that was provided. I just kept thinking why I was doing this. And when that failed to keep me moving, I found a reason myself… If I didnt cross the finish line, then I wouldnt see my dad (who flew out to see me from the east coast) cry. I made it in 6 hrs 2 minutes and 49 seconds. A number I will always remember.
Haha, this post makes me laugh because this was so me two months ago! LOL I ran my first race three weeks ago (5-miler), and it was HARD! and training is hard. And i got cramps… until I figured out that breathing fully is the key to preventing cramps — it really works! Um… not sure about the Greek yogurt though. I eat the stuff every morning for breakfast with granola and berries, and I am doing ok… I even ate that the morning of my race… no cramps!
I say congrats for going for the 1/2. I think you can do it. You have a training plan and ample time. Just stick to it and take care of yourself. Always take one full rest day a week and cross-train every other day in between runs. Yoga is awesome for running because it stretches out the muscles that you cramp up during running.
Like everything else, it’s important to remain in the moment. Running is half mental and half physical. Good luck with the training! Keep us updated, ok?
Congrats on the half marathon! I would love to be able to run….at all lol. I am thinking about doing Couch to 10K.
i am running a half marathon in july and did my 11 miles on saturday. i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m just not made for running…
OMG. You nailed it for sure! I am running a half marathon (wha???) in October in San Francisco and cannot believe what I have gotten myself into. I haven’t run more than a block or two since high school and that was a LONG time ago. Well, darlin’, here’s do doing something crazy that’s good for you TOO!!
so awesome!!! and I love that you have a “batshit crazy running bonanza” haha. personally, I don’t eat before I run, I just wake up, put my clothes on and pop right out the door… then eat something healthy and/or whatever I want afterwards. but I know some people really hate doing that… it did take some getting used to!
Have you read Born to Run yet? It’s amazeballs. And reeeeally makes you think about running long distances and getting out of your zone and it’s also hugely motivating. If you haven’t picked up/downloaded a copy yet, get on it. Trust me.
I just ran a half myself and thought that I was totally insane for signing up for it. If you can find a half training group that will be VERY helpful for the long runs. Also, remember that you can do a run/walk method if you start to cramp. Good luck with your training!
I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love the way it makes me feel, once I get into it, but I hate the first bit of run where everything just sucks. Lucky for me though, the Army does not give a shit about my excuses and makes me run whether I like it or not and through forced-running, I’ve learned a lot, like how there’s a right way to run, a right way to breath, how I’ll get side stomach cramps if I don’t drink enough water and how I’ll get this crazy pinching feeling in my collarbone area if I don’t get my breathing right and how finishing a long, challenging run, is one of the greatest feelings ever.
Good luck on your train-up!
I’ve got 4 half-marathons under my belt and I still have to remind myself to breathe.
Run the mile you’re in. – great phrase! Good luck on your training. Just think – finishing will put you half-way ready to complete one of your life list items!
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