At my day camp, all of the staff members ditch their real names for the summer and adopt a chosen “camp name.” During the application and interview process, I always caution new employees to CHOOSE THEIR FUCKING NAME CAREFULLY, because they’re going to be stuck with it for the entirety of their camp lives.
My nickname, Bubbles, is one that I picked on a whim- I think because I was chewing an enormous wad of bubblegum at the time, and although I like that it’s cute and spunky, there’s also the small issue of it sounding like I’m a dirty, dirty stripper who molests lollipops while wearing pigtails and turquoise nipple tassels.
The problem here, in addition to the fact that I actually do love lollipops and wear pigtails all the damn time (no comment on the nipple tassels), is that I often see campers outside of camp- at the grocery store, at dinner, at the mall, and they think it’s incredibly fun to yell “HEEYYYYY BUBBLES!!!” from really, ridiculously far away. Which is when unsuspecting strangers turn around and look at me with eyes that are all “that’s not an appropriate nickname when you work with kids,” and I’m like, “your FACE isn’t appropriate for kids.”
And on top of the rampant public screaming, my nickname also gets me chatted up by strangers while running errands after camp. My first mistake, clearly, was printing “Bubbles” on the back of my staff shirt, because I’ll be at Costco, buying $400 worth of chocolate syrup and whipped cream for Messy Games Day and some guy in line is all, “Sooo, Bubbles, that’s quite a lot of whipped cream for one person.” And I’m like, “IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?” And he’s all, “looks like it’ll be quite a party.” And I’m like, “get your mind out of the fucking gutter.” And he’s all, “you’re just missing the cherry on top.” And I’m like, “Okay, first of all? You’re in your mid-forties, STOP SHOPPING AT ABERCROMBIE. And secondly, don’t your kids go to my camp? So maybe you could stop being a sleazy mcdoucherson for like, six fucking seconds.”
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Is there a way NOT to molest lollipops?
it's a shame that a name can have so many connotations all at once . . . for the record, I like "Bubbles" though!
But "Bubbles" is cute! I guess it all depends on what the other camp names are like.
Hooray for creepy middle-aged men D:
Oh Nicole. I love you.
there's nothing wrong with molesting lolipops
Oh man, this is awesome! Love it.
Dang, I just remembered Michael Jackson's pet monkey was named Bubbles. How topical! I wonder if Bubbles the monkey liked lollipops?
I was a camp counselor, and my name was Micro, a la Micro Machine because I'm short and apparently, energetic. Oh, and I do talk fast. Anyways, there's nothing like being away from camp and having someone scream that name.
Thankfully for me, mine doesn't have so many um, "meanings." Hee hee.
Stop Bubble Gun is ideal for the children’s party and produces much beautiful bubbles. Marilyn Stripper
I'm really waiting for the day that one of your posts does not have me laughing so hard it hurts. And hey, wasn't Bubbles one of the Powerpuff Girls?? Not quite as dirty when you recall that…
This dude was 40 and wearing shit from Abercrombie?
Come on, BROOO, you can't get ANY douchier than wearing A&F in your 20's, but in your 40's?
That's just so totally sad.
um, "your face isn't appropriate for kids" is TOTALLY going to be my new saying now.
thank you.
Sleazy mcdoucherson? I love it!
Aw…man! I wanna play at camp with lollipops and pigtails (wait a minute – my hair is too short) and cute nicknames too! Never mind the whole porn consortium. They're all just jealous you get to play with chocolate sauce.
Joys of being a teacher/camp counselor… I love running into students. Especially when I go to WalMart, just for milk, after a run in teeny bootie shorts and one of my 17 year old male students yells HEY! That's my English teacher! to his Mom… and I am forced to hide behind fat guy holding beer at Register Eight. Good times.
Anyway, I like Bubbles. It sounds versatile.
Bubbles, huh?
Perfect.
One of my good friends from college was nicknamed Bubbles. She liked being called that outside of school but her boyfriend didn't. What happens at camp stays at camp
Hahaha, awesome. Yeah, the conversation with guy-o-sleaze was gross, but it makes for a fairly amusing post
OK, everything that you're like during all these conversations? Hysterical. Especially "your FACE isn't appropriate for kids." What? I'm juvenile, it's OK.
Any comeback with YOUR FACE is always the best. And I like Bubbles. But mainly for the PowerPuff Girls reference. Because I'm still 5.
I got a rather unfortunate nickname from my softball team that is a nod to a sex move that involves punching a girl in the back of her head while doing her from behind simply. Minds out of the gutters folks, this resulted simply because my first name has like THREE of the same letters and same number of syllables as the word "donkey." Now when I leave work for softball, with PUNCH on my back, they ask me why that's my nickname.
"Uhh… cuz I'm a fighter?"
I got a rather unfortunate nickname from my softball team that is a nod to a sex move that involves punching a girl in the back of her head while doing her from behind. Minds out of the gutters folks, this resulted simply because my first name has like THREE of the same letters and same number of syllables as the word "donkey." Now when I leave work for softball, with PUNCH on my back, they ask me why that's my nickname.
"Uhh… cuz I'm a fighter?"
There is a sex move that involves punching a girl in her head!?
Wow.
Nicole, you are funny and make me want to work at a camp.
Amen.
I would have thought that Bubbles is because you have such a bubbly, happy personality but leave it up to gross old men to take it the wrong way.
If he was wearing flip flops too I would barf.
I like bubbles.. it suits you!
haha LOVE this…. ^_^
do you work at a girl scout camp?? i worked for a girl scout summer day camp for two years, (and was a GS all my freakin' life!), and we chose "camp names" too. Mine was Duchess, because I figured The Queen would just be wayyyy to pretentious. =P
My best friend was Athena at GS camp.
haha yeah my first thought was definitely bubbles from 'zack and miri make a porno.' oh i can't wait for more bubbles stories to come.
OMG we did camp names tooooooooooooo! it's best thing ever! SO MUCH fun…lol I would forget fellow staff members' real names. my camp name was otami. i literally picked it because we passed by a street name that had that and I was all, yeah that works. otami it is!
Is there really any cute-ish nickname that couldn't be taken dirty? 'Cause I'm thinking someone could put a spin on just about anything.
I agree. I always say the English language is so corruptible even innocent movie titles can sound dirty…"The Hunt for Red October", "Free Willy", "The Firm", etc.
You already have me saying eleventy….am I to start saying sleazy mcdoucherson, too?
Oh, Bubbles. These men really are dying to talk to you, and sadly, it is the best they can do. and I love the name, I do. It suits you.
I don't even see how you could be accosted by a pervy old man at Costco for a name like Bubbles. I mean, Candy, maybe, but Bubbles?
My "camp name" was Garberator.
Yeah we didn't get to choose our own. It was awful.
I like Bubbles. I think it's fitting for you–you ARE spunky and cute!
sooooo… bubbles… how you doin'!?!?!!?
LOL
[u][b]Great quality pill at low, low price…[/b][/u][url=http://kergudu.cn/buy/4][u]Online Generic Pharmacy Here>>>[/u][/url]
[url=http://kergudu.cn/buy/4][color=purple][b]BUY GENERIC LIPITOR WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION FREE SHIPPING![/b][/color][/url]
[b]Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed:[/b] detox lipitor , detox off lipitor , devils claw and lipitor , diabetes and lipitor, diabetes lipitor , diabetics lipitor …
[color=blue][b]Fast delivery, No hidden fees, Moneyback guarantee. Order in bulk and get the lowest price.[/b][/color]
[color=green]
+ Get FREE pills with your order
+ 24/7/365 Customer Support
+ Top quality medications
+ All most payment methods
+ Fast Worldwide shipping
[/color]
[url=http://kergudu.cn/buy/4][img]http://kergudu.cn/t_scr/Lipitor.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://kergudu.cn/buy/4][b][color=green]Order Generic Lipitor Online[/color][/b][/url]
[url=http://www.drugs.com/Lipitor.html]Drugs.com – Lipitor[/url]
[b][color=purple]Info Lipitor:[/color][/b]
Lipitor is used for: Lipitor reduces low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol and total cholesterol in the blood. Lowering your cholesterol can help prevent heart disease and hardening of the arteries, conditions that can lead to heart attack, stroke, and vascular disease.
[b]Related search:[/b]
taking lipitor and thyroid medication Tempe Arizona
how many people use lipitor Montgomery Alabama
clinton lipitor withdrawal
lipitor itchy skin Norwalk California
lipitor and the liver Yonkers New York
lipitor or atorvastatin Port St. Lucie Florida
atorvastatin effects lipitor side
lipitor lipobay Gresham Oregon
lipitor mental effects
muscle weakness and lipitor Henderson Nevada
lipitor liver problems
lipitor and prostrate health Tempe Arizona
lipitor and artificial sweeteners
lipitor tmj Newport News Virginia
porphyria lipitor Downey California
[url=http://www.acel.org.au/forum_2008/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6528]lipitor turnover Wichita Kansas[/url]
[url=http://www.starparivaar.info/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1489]liver lesion ultrasonography lipitor[/url]
[url=http://bbs.pingod.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=63610]lipitor wbr pravachol Springfield Massachusetts[/url]
[url=http://roflpranks.com/fourm/index.php?topic=9928.0]lipitor drug effect on liver Fort Lauderdale Florida[/url]
[url=http://www.sneak24.de/viewtopic.php?p=1777162#1777162]lipitor and apple cider vinegar[/url]
lipitor size effects Irving Texas
how bad is lipitor Torrance California
break lipitor
adverse reaction of lipitor and nexium Columbus Ohio
celebrex lipitor
[url=http://klawang.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=30507]lipitor $4 target[/url]
[url=http://atacamahostel.cl/comments/index.php?topic=34867.0]counterfiet lipitor 2007 aarp Round Rock Texas[/url]
[url=http://www.appraiserchatter.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=28944]lipitor knee problems Memphis Tennessee[/url]
lipitor side effects alternative m d Washington District of Columbia
lipitor and bloodwork Providence Rhode Island
lipitor and tricor together Newport News Virginia
erection lipitor
lipitor medication Lubbock Texas
lipitor atorvastatin 10mg 180 tablets
is lipitor rat poison Fort Wayne Indiana
lipitor studies leg pain Port St. Lucie Florida
lipitor cashmere
apo lipitor Glendale California
[url=http://stalbans.unitingchurch.org.au/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=10267]should you take niacin with lipitor Las Vegas Nevada[/url]
[url=http://hac-clan.de/deliverance/forum/index.php?topic=17013.0]lipitor immune system Amarillo Texas[/url]
[url=http://www.parkingcoop.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7668]generic cholestrol med 40 mg lipitor[/url]
[url=http://forums.stfudta.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=8699]lipitor crestor side effects[/url]
[url=http://www.furia.com/vf/new.cgi?topic=13]lipitor cholesterol tablets Fresno California[/url]
[url=http://www.thavipnetwork.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=65477#65477]lipitor studies leg pain Gainesville Florida[/url]
[url=http://www.cis.usouthal.edu/%7Elynn/spring2005/discussion/read.php?3,122879]price of lipitor 80mg[/url]
leukocytoclastic vasculitis due to lipitor
lipitor and milk thistle
walnuts lipitor Augusta Georgia
fluoroquinolones and lipitor
lipitor unusual dreams Billings Montana
news about lipitor and memory loss
pravachol and lipitor and trials Savannah Georgia
class action lipitor lawsuit
lipitor radio control car Elgin Illinois
lipitor by astrazeneca
cholesterol reduction with lipitor 5mg
lipitor manufacture
is lipitor better than pravachol
lipitor fraudulently
avapro and lipitor
lipitor norvasc Gainesville Florida
generic lipitor online
lipitor liver
lipitor and lovaza usage Escondido California
lipitor trials North Las Vegas Nevada
damaging effects of lipitor
lipitor lowing cholesterol Lancaster California
can i crush lipitor Salem Oregon
bleeding rectum lipitor tricor
withdraw from lipitor