The thing about being single in September of 2009 is that it’s a lot more fucking stressful than, say, September of 2003, when I was also single and just starting my freshman year at NYU.
You know why? Facebook. And Twitter. And the ability to STALK GUYS LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.
Back in 2003, when a “tweet” was the sound a bird made and Facebook was only available to students at the Ivy League level, the worst I could do was try to decipher a guy’s emo ass away message. Are those song lyrics about me? Who the fuck is Stephanie and why is he in her dorm room? They’re having a party? We weren’t invited? Why is he writing in multi-colored font? What kind of man writes in MULTI-COLORED FONT?
You know, the usual angsty questions.
Now though? NOW? It’s all, “Oh shit he updated his status and who’s the blonde in his profile picture and why didn’t he text me back- it’s been 12 MINUTES and hey, look who he’s following on Twitter and why is he using emoticon wink faces on her wall and he’s online but not messaging me and should I message him first and and and and GAH, JUST EMOTICON KILL ME ALREADY BECAUSE SINCE WHEN ARE THERE SO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER?!”
Which makes me all, “maybe I’ll just start dating girls.” Except, fuck, GIRLS HAVE FACEBOOK TOO.
Posted in: life 2.0, quarter life crisis
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
Guess what?
I EMOTICON HEART THIS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
hahaha so true!
except this technology can be used to our advantage by doing things like, say, stalking out our guys ex-girlfriends myspace's and feeling super relieved because she's obvioulsy not as pretty/smart/funny as we are, of course.
not saying that I do that or anything…but ya know. you can if you wanna
YES. I so agree. And also? When you first meet someone and they're all lets be facebook friends and i'm like lets not but say that we did and pretended we knew all about that person from looking at some pictures from 2005 when they were really drunk and all over some brunette.
I feel like internet has made our crazies just a whole lot more crazy. But I sure do love it…
Its just as bad when you're IN a relationship, I think. Or maybe that's just me being all crazy and paranoid? Just me? Thought so…
I'm not sure what I love more, your rants about technology or post about mom…I've decided I love them equally! You can stalk me anytime…er, except I'm not on facebook:)<3<3<3
FB ha made talking to other people's friends so much easier. You can look them up and know whether or not they will be "that guy" or "that girl". I think my biggest problem with dating is that people my age are married and having a kid, and those who aren't are mostly broken. I'm in my 20's too.
Oh my god, so true! Like the guy I THOUGHT I was seeing for the past few months but I haven't actually heard from in a week is still active on facebook and at the moment that's the only way I can keep track of him, since apparently I've been dumped. And I keep looking at his page to see if there's any updates and feeling bad that he can be on facebook but not text me. Grrr. Men.
You are absolutely dead on with this post- and don't think guys don't do the same thing too!
Remember that time my mom thought you were my girlfriend?
So true! I'm newly single after a four year relationship, and the whole thing is completely overwhelming now haha!
Wow! It's like that? As a single man, I now know fear…
Love your posts, your energy, your sense of humor! Best of luck on your travels
god this is so spot on!
this post, though i wont admit it to him, is why i secretly am glad my manfriend refuses to do facebook.
because i have enough crazy, that he sees on the regular, than to have to decipher why such and such a girl is writing this or that on his wall, etc.
ps- doniree's comment made me laugh!
LOVE IT!
You're cute when you're all angst and crushes!
Isn't she?!
Good gawd I'm glad I'm married.
I remember chatting on icq with my first boyfriend over 10 years ago (and now I sound old), thank goodness facebook and twitter weren't around then!
I think you need to have a drink, a joint and some chill time away from the computer…
OMG I totally agree. My therapist says that she couldn't have handled breakups if Facebook and Twitter had existed back then. This summer with the worst breakup ever, I have been hating the fact that Twitter and Facebook exist. Yet I just can't quit them…..
Seriously, it's like crack.
can I emocon all over your face?
Temprarily quite grateful to be old enough that this wasn’t a college issue for me.
Honestly, we had all this angst in college too–just fewer sources to divide it across. Those cryptic away messages used to drive me nuts.
Hahaha, oh God, I wish I could say I don't do this, but that'd be SUCH a lie.
I'm thinking we are going to have an awful lot of catching up to do this weekend!!!
Ah, and just remember those days before mobiles when you had to sit around by the home phone *waiting* for that call just knowing if you went to go and make a cup of tea, he'd call and you'd miss him.
Dammit.
I could hug you right now…you have no clue. These thoughts cross my mind on a regular basis.
Facebook can be so evil. You end up finding out things you probably shouldn't, like that your ex is dating someone almost ten years younger than he is who looks like a model. Or maybe that's just me . . .
I hated trying to decipher Away Messages. He's been idle for 20 minutes! What do you think he's doing!? … Oh, phew, he's back at his computer again.
This post is bloody genius.
Ah, could you imagine if we had to deal with all this technology crap while trying to date in high school???? I can't. Dating is hard enough as it is without the plethora of online info available to us at a moment's notice. I know how you feel =)
Fbook/MySpace/Twitter have truly made life and relationships 10x more complicated. Trust me.
I give my boyfriend the "you wrote on her Fbook wall, why can't you write on mine?" Ya. It's lame, and horrible, all at once.
Remember when "cyber-stalking" constituted *69 or reverse-address-look-up with the help of an operator?? Ah, the good old days…
About 20 times a day I tell myself that I'm going to get off of facebook, turn in my iphone, and be a normal person again. It never happens — I'm too scared!! I need a support group…
exactly…just imagine if guys kept blogs like we do…… that'd add a whole new dimension to stalking LOL
OHMAGOD YES. Welcome to my world circa March 2009. http://majalisblooms.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/a-d…
http://www.wikihow.com/Quit-Facebook
Saaaaa-ad.
The internet is a real problem. I remember back when I did not have a cell phone or an email account (THAT IS HOW OLD I AM) and dating was hard enough. Now? Fuck it. It's waaaay too easy to make up stories based on status updates and photos.
The worst is that now with facebook and the like, people never go away! I can still stalk my ex-boyfriend from 3 years ago who just moved in with his goofy girlfriend, I can find out that this guy i hooked up with once at a party last march just ran a marathon. Things I don't actually care about but now I am flipping through photos because they are THERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE.
It's enough to make a girl move to mongolia.
It's kind of amazing and ridiculous how quickly social media has EXPLODED in the last several years. I mean, seriously. I remember the good old AIM days – you made me giggle with your thing about the away messages. TOTALLY BEEN THERE.
I hated the movie He's Just Not That Into You, but there is a part in there where they say something about how now there are so many new ways to be dumped. Text, email, facebook, email, etc. Kind of hilariously upsetting, if you ask me.
In any case, you are a gem. And you're a size four. WINNER.
LOL! Those are so many of the dating problems of today. My friends constantly complain about these things and there's no way to work around it. Stalking is so easy!
this totally reminds me of the scene in 'he's just not that into you' and drew's character is like 'i texted him, he emailed me back, then i sent him a facebook message…' etc, it just made me laugh. but yeah the internet is a wily one.
thanks love, i am so nervous about the LSAT.
and i cannot AGREE MORE with this entry of yours. holy crap. i will be perpetually single I think BECAUSE of the technology age.
i wrote a similar post to this about dating and facebook a few weeks back. even worse than dating with facebook is breaking up.
You are so funny. I love it. Or that quiz he took on Facebook "which color crayon are you?"… you took it too and got the same color as him. MAYBE IT'S A SIGN!
YOU'RE SINGLE? wtf nicole?!
hahahaha…. so freakin true! Sometimes I miss the pre-Google and social media days. Sometimes.
Dude, I KNOW. When my current bf and I got together, I analyzed ever SuperPoke and wall message. Thank god my bf doesn't Tweet.
Um, but if you do start dating girls…uh, let me know. Half kidding. Ahem.
hahahah we are all 21st century fucked
Haha, love it! We're no longer sitting by the phone waiting, because it pretty much follows us around.
Not to mention the fact that any bad photos need to be untagged, pronto, when a crush adds you on FB….
be wary of guys who use emoticons.
be very wary.
GAWD. this is spot on.
LOL! I am feeling the same way about Facebook lately. It seems to do more harm than good!
Yeah, I see you as a ball of love & just wanting to be in love, so dating your fellow girl friends would make sense. Good luck.
I'm horribly self-absorbed, so I barely notice what other people are doing.
It's quite nice, really.
thumb up. **crystal likes this**
I am dedicating a post to this post. Look out for it. My life is a fucking tragi-comedy.
So freaking true, and kind of sad, at the same time. Why does technology have to complicate everything?
Um HELLOOO…his hotness needs ME to read his book- so clearly. I think he's searching the world for me secretly-LOL you are so funny girly.. loves it!
You can date me. I don't have Facebook. I am married however, but really that just makes things more interesting.
Oh my god, I know what you mean! I am guilty of the "He's on g-chat, so why isn't he messaging me?" and "Who is that hussy who keeps commenting on his wall?"