When it comes to taking care of myself, I go through phases. Sometimes I’m all “Woo! Exercise! Water! Sleep! Inject me with broccoli!”
Other times, LIKE NOW, it’s all “Wine! In the afternoon! And at night! With sleeping pills! And butter! While laying immobile on the couch!”
Which would be fucking awesome if my job involved laying drunk on the couch, but seeing as how I have to RUN AROUND WITH KIDS ALL DAY, being out of shape is really just an occupational hazard and of course there’s the fact that I almost needed to be resuscitated on an inflatable slip n slide a few weeks ago, because I got over-zealous and went on it four times in a row and basically fell to the ground with my body all “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? STOP WITH THE RUNNING. GO BACK TO THE COUCH. WHERE’S THE TEQUILA? IF YOU DIE RIGHT NOW, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR BLOG?” And I was like, “Fine. You know what? If you’re going to be this much of a pussy, we’re restarting the 30 Day Shred.”
So I restarted it, today, at camp, in the ballroom, on the big projector, after the kids went home, with five of my counselors, who are all in high school and college and tiny as fuck. Which is fantastic, having people to work out with and all, but when those people are in HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE, casually mentioning back fat that they DON’T HAVE, I’m tempted to submerge them in a baby pool full of fried chicken and yell “REALLY? YOU’RE NINETEEN! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY MOTHER FUCKING BACK FAT. THE END.”
Posted in: day to day shenanigans
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
fucking teenagers.
They were talking about skinny fat and skinny cellulite at lunch today. It was all I could do not to lift my shirt and yell “Cellulite… you want to seem some fucking cellulite?” Actually, now I kinda wish I did.
Man, if I could get injected with broccoli, I wouldn't feel so guilty about just having a slice of cheesecake. Perhaps we should try to patent that idea. I'm down to be the guinea pig to try it!
Teenagers!! Especially my sister who does not have 1 inch of fat on her and complains everyday that is so fat! It drives me INSANE!
Good luck with Round 2!
I nearly took out a teen the other day who was complaining about her love handles. I don't think she actually understood what those ARE because she was about the size of my very tiny wrists and I don't think she's seen a piece of cheese in her life.
Good luck with the shred! I really want to try that, maybe when I have nothing better to do when I come back from my vacation!
Usually I'd say that having other people to commit to an exercise routine with is great for motivation, but I don't know about waist-size obsessed teeny-boppers…I hate when skinny people complain about being fat, it makes me feel like shit about my curviness….and I mean curvy in the tits, hips and ass sense, not the new marketing, really-your-a-fat ass sense. Ok…now I'm just ranting.
HAHAHA. I love the "IF YOU DIE RIGHT NOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR BLOG" part. Classic.
I worked as a camp counselor for two summers; i know how annoying it is to balance being healthy and active while working with kids and actually, oh, acting your age (i.e. drinking)
To be fair, this is all relative. I mean, I look at you and I would never think, BACK FAT. I would think that you have a nicer body than I can ever hope to have. Not that I don't think that everyone has a right to want to improve their fitness no matter how thin and fit they might already be.
ahhh, to be nineteen again. assholes.
Hahaha. I'm also a victim of the extremes. I'm either running 75 miles a week or none at all. Currently, I'm trying to find a happy medium. It's not working out so well.
Dude, balance. It's like my ultimate life goal. How do we get there??
I'm the same way with the darn exercise extremes.
If I recall correctly from Vegas you don't have any backfat either, but I understand the need/desire to get back in shape.
I've always thought that if gyms had some classes where people could do workout videos as a group we would be much more determined, dedicated and willing to get through it. I think I will go to the gym tonight as a result of this post.
And then have a glass of wine =)
I'm currently drinking V8.
Yeah, I'm trying to be healthy. It's fun.
30 day shred – sounds intense! keep us updating on how it goes. i've heard a lot of people doing the 90px or something workout too. i'm just trying to do something everyday. all i'm doing right now is Tissu and that ain't gonna cut it.
Ohhhh this just reminds me that I need to start exercising again… darn.
ashley.star – add vodka to the V8 – its much better.
"Inject me with broccoli!” – another spectacular Nicole line. And also? Um, you're how old? YOU don't have any back fat. Not one chance that I believe this. And I'm old enough to be your mother, (if I'd had you young and way before I was even having sex) so I'm probably right.
ha, back fat! i was wondering where you were going with that. i am only 23, it is getting hard as hell to stay fit.
tequila and slip-n-slide, oh yes!! i think i am going to have to steal that idea for this weekend.
haha good luck restarting the shred. i need to just start it. or restart my working outness.i was doing so good for a while.
OK, to us upper-thirty year olds (oof, sometimes I can't believe how old I am) you low- to mid-twenty year olds seem like teenagers. Back fat? Bwah ha ha, just wait to see how hard it is to lose it in 10 or 15 years! *sigh*
Shred does help get it off, though. Ahh, Jillian, how I love thee!
Hahaha, awesome about the back fat, self perceptions can be so crazy!
hilarious. im starting 30 Shred tomorrow. no excuses.
I'm joining the Shredhead nation here soon. And yes, I wish the fat would magically melt off of me but for now it's a daily struggle to balance the gym and laying drunk on the couch.
Part of me wants to try the Shred now… just part. The other part wants to eat ice cream.
Dude, I hate that I look at pictures of myself when I was like 21 and I was all hot and thin and I remember how fucking shitty I felt about my body when. When I was 20 pounds lighter. WHAT THE FUCK. Speaking of which, I need to motherfucking work out.
Me now hates the 20-year-old me. I wanna be her again. I looked way better. She sucks.
I remember when I was young and ripped.
After 21 years old, that dream evaporated.
I'm so bad about exercise. I'll do really well for a while…then I just give up and eat spoonfuls of butter.
Back fat is the bane of my existence. Seriously.
Yay, good for you.
I lost like 5 pounds last month from my Invisalign, that thing on my mouth that keeps me from eating. Most underrated diet ever.
Oh wow..
And your blog must think I am dead cause it almost asked for my blood type to leave a comment..
I suppose at least its good motivation to be working out with a bunch of skinny-minnies, although I'd have punched one for sure by now…
HAHAHA I am cracking up right now. Yeah I thought I was SO huge when I was like 20. Yeah right. My nearly 28 year old body WISHES for that person now. Back fat and cellulite were foreign terms. Getting older SUCKS.
I think you look great, but fitness is always an awesome goal. It bugs the hell out of me when my 15 year old sister moans about gaining weight–she is a scarecrow!
HAHAHAHA amazing story! I'm glad someone else has experienced this! When I teach dance, mostly to high schoolers, I tend to get out of breath after doing a combination…do they??? NOPE! ugh i feel so old sometimes lol
i definitely feel WAY better about myself now than i did at nineteen. i was so not in shape and/or ripped at all.
People who don't know what back fat is from having never experienced are looking to get tit punched or stabbed. That's all I'm saying.
Ooo wait, is this the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred? Because I'm doing that! It's the DVD I'm trusting to make me lose 10 pounds before my wedding. (And the DVD I will be blaming for my impending failure.)