From the monthly archives:

May 2010

sumo babies, racist music choices, and the reason i usually call my mom instead of my dad

So I was on the phone with my parents yesterday and they’re all, “What have you been up to lately?” and I’m like, “I talk to you guys like every single day” and they’re all, “But tell us more things!” so I struggle for a minute to come up with something that’s even mildly appropriate [...]

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dead hookers, my missing toenail, and other things that happened when i was in vegas for bloggers in sin city this past weekend, which when paired with the shenanigans of the previous post make me look like a raging alcohol abuser. high fives for liver damage.

This entire story is out of order. Cool? Cool. So, this morning Jamie and I went to Trader Joe’s because we haven’t gone grocery shopping in an actual entire month and we realized that maybe the reason we feel like shit and don’t bounce back from all the drinking we do is because every single [...]

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peeing in public, nudity in public, and a recap of my weekend that might not be in english because i’m so out of it that i’m basically blind but also vegas

I’d like to start by telling you that I’m so exhausted and so hungover and so sore that I think I might actually be dead. Like, really really dead. Like, rainbow dead. Like, this blog post might not really be happening because I might not really be happening because last week Jamie thought it was [...]

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facebook stalking, sick kids, and one more reason to add to the list of reasons why there’s a spot reserved for me in hell

Sometimes Facebook is the most annoying thing ever. Like when someone you know changes their relationship status and then everyone else you know and everyone else you have ever known comments on it with dumb shit like “awww” and “weee” and “wink face!” But then sometimes Facebook is actually the most glorious thing ever. Like [...]

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our patio, milk, and the troubling situation in which i’m either an idiot who doesn’t know how the fuck to use totally normal products or there really are just too many absurd items for sale in this world. finger crossies for the latter.

We chose our current apartment for three reasons. Reason 1 was the ridiculously low security deposit. Reason 2 was the wood burning fireplace. Reason 3 was the enormous patio. The thing about those reasons is that the only one that has played out as expected is the first one. Like, okay, the fireplace is awesome. [...]

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