deliciously vulgar
From the monthly archives:
There are few things in life that I trust in the wild and limitless way that I trust Google maps. The map is all, “turn right” and I turn right and then it’s like, “go 0.5 more miles” and I go 0.5 more miles. Blind trust. Because I mean, when you have the sense of [...]
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So we’re sitting at the table having Christmas brunch, right, and the phone rings and it’s this loud insane ring that sounds like somebody sped up that old Nokia default ringtone and added a few thousand bells in the background. And I’m like “the FUCK?” and my 80 year old aunt, who doesn’t look a [...]
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Looking back, I blame the internet. Or maybe I blame The Coffee Bean. Or maybe I blame the fact that the internet wasn’t working at The Coffee Bean. Because it was noon on Thursday and I was high on iced tea and Firefox kept freezing and then Safari kept freezing and I couldn’t reload Craigslist [...]
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In case you missed it, I’m interning for Jenny of TheBloggess.com. One of my assigned tasks is to make Sarah Silverman be her best friend and to get Amy Sedaris to acknowledge her. In pursuit of this, I suggested that maybe she follow Sarah Silverman on Twitter, because Amy Sedaris hates babies and life and [...]
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Knowledge is weird. Like, one second you don’t know something and then the next second you do. And as soon as you do? You can’t un-know it. Well, except for high school Spanish. I couldn’t conjugate a Spanish verb to save the lives of all the AIDS babies in the galaxy. So, you know, hopefully [...]
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