deliciously vulgar
From the monthly archives:
Between working eleventy thousand jobs, planning my dream trip around the world, and internally debating whether Spencer and Heidi’s relationship is fake because he’s a douchebag or if in fact he’s actually a super cool guy, their relationship is real, and he fakes ultimate douchebag-ery to create good TV, I don’t have a lot of [...]
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It’s almost May and I’m in full spring cleaning/getting rid of shit I don’t need mode. Saturday night involved me, a glass of wine, and the oh-so-familiar game of, “don’t pretend this skirt will ever fit again because you’re a grown ass woman and that shit could barely fit a twelve year old so you [...]
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I might have to start paying someone to come over and help me shower from now on. It’s that damn 30 Day Shred. I’m so sore that I can’t get my arms above my waist and could therefore only shampoo about a third of my hair this morning. AND I’M ONLY ON DAY ONE. It [...]
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Until about two weeks ago I was one of those incredibly stupid asshats who thought backing up a computer wasn’t worth the trouble because computer related catastrophes only happen to other people. If you’re sitting there thinking, “oh, my computer is fine/brand new/insert-your-favorite-horseshit-excuse-here,” let me interject and tell you that 1) you’re WRONG, and 2) [...]
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It started just like any other day. I woke up, had some breakfast, and took a look at my to-do list. Item number one: schedule a Brazilian wax with Kim. So I called. And the receptionist was all nonchalant with her “oh, actually, Kim no longer works here.” Before falling to the floor in dramatic [...]
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